Being a new parent can be overwhelming. Especially if this is your first child and you want to be involved as much as possible. However, there are some signs a new dad is not doing enough.
Most new fathers are happy to tackle the opportunity to be a dad and embrace the new responsibility it entails. But some can’t wait to find a way to get through the door and are always searching for excuses to get away.
Being a parent isn’t easy, and as it mentions in ParentalQuestions.com we all need time transition correctly. But if you feel like the new daddy isn’t pulling his weight, then this practical advice could be a lifesaver. Let’s expose the myth, here’re seven telltale signs a new dad is not doing enough at home.
1. They aren’t Bonding with the Newborn Enough
A newborn needs constant supervision, and right at the beginning, this attention will usually come from mummy. This is especially the case if she decides to breastfeed.
If you find that new daddy is not actively seeking out “bonding time” whenever he can, then you may have a problem.
What To Do
Remind your partner that bonding is important, and she must try and give you more free time with your little one.
You can’t watch the baby and have a bath at the same time. Give him a simple activity to do, so there is no way to get out of it. A perfect example is reading a book or singing a song to the baby while you get washed and dressed.
2. They Avoid Diaper Changing
Changing your baby’s diaper is a good baby duty you can delegate out. It is something that needs to be done often, and once trained, anyone can do it.
If you’ve tried repeatedly to demonstrate how to change a diaper, but to no avail, then you could have someone who is trying to duck and dive responsibility.
What To Do
Be more firm and try to ‘outsource’ this to the daddy as much as possible. Be patient but repetitive.
Show him there is always time to change a diaper, and he can do it even if he’s busy. Morning and night time are perfect sessions to get involved in if he’s at work during the day.
Remind him changing nappies is a great bonding time. If you still have issues, then try an alternating diaper changing system. Here you change the first one, and then watch him change the second and so on until he gets it right.
3. They Think they will Break the Baby
It’s no secret babies are incredibly fragile. Learning what to do and how to do it can take some time, and it’s not something you don’t want to experiment with. If your partner is a new daddy, he may need extra transition time to learn the correct methods.
Show him how to handle your baby, hold a baby, and secure the head. You may need to do this as many times as is necessary before you are confident enough to leave him alone with his baby.
4. Constant Complaining (about small things)
If your baby spits up or vomits, they complain. If the baby cries too much, they complain. If baby poo’s too many times in an hour, they think it’s personal!
Remember, your baby can sense frustrations and anxieties, so constant complaining can make the problem worse.
What To Do
Remind them a newborn will not be a newborn forever. Once the toddler stage kicks in and your toddler is running up and down the house, in and out of cupboards and staircases and just won’t stay still, they will probably miss the cute baby stage.
Remind them this is the easier part, and the challenge is yet to come! (Soon you will be dealing with the signs of terrible twos!)
5. They Don’t Make Baby Sounds
It’s not always easy to transition from non-daddy to daddy in an instant. Some people aren’t natural with babies, and you may need to be a bit patient. Not being able to sing “baby shark” correctly is not the end of the world!
What To Do
Try to encourage playtime more often between the newborn and new daddy. Here, you can set up a playtime environment when you know daddy has free time. You may already know your baby’s favorite toys and set of lullaby sounds, but if your partner is unable to spend as much time with the new baby, then try and set everything up for him so that it’s easy.
This will help push-start bonding and interaction.
6. New Dads are Constantly Distracted and want to Get Away
This is probably one of the worse but is very common among new dads. Sometimes, it can be a defense mechanism or a coping mechanism, but other times it’s just an avoidance technique.
Remember, this entire transition is a difficult one, and some dads can take it harder than others. Try to give him a little leeway to adjust to the “New Normal.“
What To Do
Be straight and upfront. Confront him about it and be empathetic with what he says. You need to remind him even though he has lots going on, you still need your relaxation and alone time too.
7. Stuck in the Past – Parenting is a Mum Job
Surprising as this sounds, it is a common belief among some men. These types of unconscious beliefs can be very detrimental in a relationship. So, you must get to the bottom of them fast.
What To Do
Remind daddy parenting is universal and give him examples of things he can do with the newborn as they get older.
Things like helping with
- Washing and dressing
- Feeding and burping
- Playing and stimulation
- Nighttime duties and putting baby down to sleep
Your baby will benefit from equal time spent with both parents, and as your baby gets older, they may need their dad to be involved more. It can be refreshing to get out and about with your little one. Here are some tips for going out with your new baby.
Finding your family dynamic will take time. Each family is unique, so it’s best not to compare with their family or friend’s situations. The most important thing is you are all learning and growing together.
