If you’re divorced and with children, the holidays can be a complicated time. It may mean making decisions on where the kids will spend their time, which parent they’ll open presents with or it may even mean interacting with your ex in social gatherings planned by mutual friends and family.
Usually, if the divorce was a mutual decision without much hassle or argument, it can be quite easier for both to come together for the holidays. However, not all situations and circumstances are the same and spending the holidays with your ex can be stressful.
This doesn’t have to be the case.
This progressive practice is becoming the norm among many divorcees. Spending the holidays with your ex-spouse doesn’t have to be a tense time. Here are a few tips to consider if you hope to maintain a friendly coexistence with your ex.
- Maturity. It’s often difficult to let your ex into your party or social circle again after a break-up. It calls for maturity and good composure. Whatever has happened has happened. You must let go and move forward. It’s essential to treat one another with respect.
- Define Your Purpose and Goal. Keep in mind you’re not inviting your ex-spouse for a rekindling of a past relationship. If you’re doing this for your children, let this be your motivation. You may be separated, but your kids will always be a connecting factor. In this way you can help make sure the kids have a fulfilled holiday.
- Focus On The Season. Holiday periods are celebration seasons when love is shared. You should extend the spirit of the season irrespective of who was in the wrong or initiated the divorce. A season of happiness and joy should try to be celebrated, without bringing up old faults. Let yourself get carried away with the mood and spirit of the season, and you’ll discover having your ex around isn’t as difficult as you think.
- Invite Other Guests. If you don’t want to feel isolated and unhappy with having your ex around but for the kids’ sake, you can invite other guests to keep you company and celebrate the season without having to spend too much time with your ex. The children will be happy to have both parents in the same room, and you can spend most your time mingling with friends and family.
Having your ex around for the holiday is possible depending on many factors such as the reason for divorce, the level of your relationship with them, and your willingness to be open to an amicable coexistence. However, there are valid reasons to not want this type of relationship with your ex-spouse after divorce.
You can create new holiday traditions with your children. This is important because it creates a sense of stability for the children that not all things are changing.
If you’re looking for advice on how to move forward with your life, divorce lawyers in Raleigh, NC can provide services for parents who may be struggling with disputes on custody issues. Divorce will rearrange your life; it’s up to you to put the pieces back together in the manner that works best for you.
Will your ex be joining you in this year’s festivities? What strategies do you use to make things work? Please share them in the Comments below.
At what point does being nice to ex wifes new partner become you have had enough? My ex’s new husband is disrespectful to my children and constantly is making remarks to them about me, I have let alot go but I constantly am thinking if the time has come for me to put my hands on him. I am church going man but at some point it has to stop I have addressed it to her and she doesn’t really say much. What do you suggest my next step should be?
Hi Dan
Thank you for reaching out. I answered you in a separate email.
Gerardo