Being a step-parent can be one of the most difficult, heart-wrenching experiences or one of the most positive, rewarding ones in your life. It takes a lot of determination, and even more, love, to take someone else’s child and treat him as your own.
You may sometimes feel like you have no idea how to react to these children sometimes. There are many skills involved in stepparenting, and many techniques can help you out with this.
Below, I’ll share with you some of the techniques I implement in raising my stepkids. I’m a male nurse, and I spend many of my days at the hospital.
However, when I come home, the first thing I do after I pull off my comfy men’s scrubs and change into cozy PJ’s is to give my stepgirls hugs. This brings me to my first point.
Show your Love
You may have inferred I only give my stepdaughters hugs and not my stepsons, and you’re right. But it’s not because I love them less; I love them just as much as my girls.
The difference is over time, my stepdaughters have gotten to know me, and I’ve gotten to know them. I know they love a warm hug!
On the other hand, my stepsons don’t appreciate big, comfy hugs. They’re tougher, and they’d find it embarrassing if I’d start treating them like I treat my girls and giving them a big loving hug every night.
It’s all about sensitivity. Be sensitive to your step-kids; every person needs love, but they don’t all need it in the same way.
There are five love languages. My girls’ foremost one is physical touch, while my boys enjoy spending time with me.
Even if you don’t feel it, show it. The best way to love someone is to give to them, and by providing them with love in their language, you’re building a relationship and feelings of love for your child.
Stay Away from Criticism
Every child needs some discipline. However, discipline should only come from someone the child knows genuinely loves and cares about him.
Stepparents and stepchildren can often have complicated relationships. Moreso, step-children can sometimes be sure, without a doubt, their stepparent doesn’t like them.
Of course, their thoughts may be entirely unfounded, and our job as step-parents is to prevent and stop such misconceptions from occurring. Since, it can be hard to know if a child truly feels loved or not, keep away from criticizing.
Moreover, often, the stepchildren may feel their new parent is an authority figure. Leave it up to the child’s biological parent to discipline their son or daughter, and you do the same for your offspring when necessary.
These techniques are the ones I found most helpful in raising my stepkids, and enabling them to feel loved, cared for and a part of my life. Read more on some tried and tested ways of becoming a successful stepfather and making sure you have a happy and harmonious relationship with your stepchildren.
