Being a stepdad is no easy task. Blended families are more common than ever.
Stepping up to plate and raising someone else’s child or even being a part-time parent to them comes with real struggles. The bond you have with your natural children is stronger.
Often stepchildren can get jealous or discouraged about how they are treated by either parent. The adjustment period can be long for both of you.
Some children and even some adults never really adjust at all. Sometimes finding a support community is the best way to find advice and have a place to vent about them.
One of the ways you can do this is through blogging. You might be amazed by the feedback and support you’ll get online.
So how do you even get started blogging your way through parenting struggles? Here are some simple steps and tips.
Figure Out Where to Blog
Believe it or not there are a number of choices here. Of course, you can always start your own website and blog.
This means you’ll have a built-in audience and platform to share from. Also have a great deal of control about what is on your site and how your story is presented.
This way will be a lot of work and require an initial investment. The choosing and purchase of a domain name, finding web hosting and hiring a web designer or designing the site yourself will take time, money or some of both.
There are also parental blogs that accept guest posts or are looking for contributors. Even social media networks like Life of Dad also have blogging platforms.
With these options you lose a little bit of control over your stories. You can’t do everything the way you can with your own site.
If you’re willing to sacrifice those things to get your message out there, great. If not, starting your own site is a great option as well.
Be Open and Real
The truth is you are not alone in your parenting struggles. Blended families and being a stepparent are much more common than they used to be.
The struggles you face every day are probably shared by other stepparents as well. The problem is you’ll never know unless you are open and real.
Those who would share your struggles will not know either. There’s no way for them to read your mind.
The struggles you share may just be just the thing needed to start a discussion and dialogue about them.
So be open and real. Share what you are really going through.
Don’t be afraid of what others might think. You’ll probably get a lot more support than you can imagine.
Consider the Consequences
Some stepdads use pen names or comment and share anonymously as much as possible. You need to think of the consequences with your children, stepchildren and spouse before you share personal information and stories on the internet.
Yes, you need to be open and real, but you also need to consider the feelings of others. Change names and places if you need to so that stories are not accusatory or defaming to someone else.
Consider what would happened if your stepchildren read the piece you are writing and operate in that realm. While this may sound obvious, it has happened and bears repeating.
Encourage others to do the same. Don’t be a problem to your children.
Encourage others to treat their stories with respect as well.
Share to Spread the Word
If you want a real response and impact to your story, you will need to let others know where you are writing and what you are writing about. If you’re using a pen name or contributing anonymously, this will be harder, but it can still be done.
You can create social media profiles under a pen name as long as you are clear about what it is for, or you can share on your page as something you are interested in.
Just be careful in case the post’s content parallels your own life closely enough that those close to you will figure out you’re the author.
The other option you have is to just share and be honest. This one is a bit tougher.
Relatives and friends might take offense to some of the things you have written, but you have the option of telling them that you don’t mean any offense.
However, if the shoe fits, feel free to lace it up and walk for a bit in it.
Either way, somehow you will need to spread the word about your posts so they actually reach readers and make an impact. How you do so will be largely up to who you are an your unique circumstances.
Don’t Listen to the Trolls
This advice isn’t just for stepdads, but for anyone who is authoring a blog. You will find trolls, those readers who just comment to get a reaction from you or for some reason appear angry at everything.
Sometimes they disagree just for the sake of disagreement. As much as you will try to shed them off, their comments will bother you.
Don’t listen to them. Ignore them if you can, and if not simply don’t respond. That is what they want.
The lack of a response will most often cause them to move on to someone more susceptible. These comments can come on social media, blog comments and even personal emails if they figure out who you are.
Stay away from the troll arguments and keep as professional an outlook as you can even though what you’re sharing may be rather personal.
Blogging your way through parenting struggles is a lot like journaling with a more public element to it. Your blogs can help other people overcome the same issues and help you feel less alone as you build more of a community where others share their struggles as well. The support you offer other stepparents can be valuable to both of you.
Support for Stepdads offers you the opportunity to submit your story for publishing. Not only do you get a chance to share but other stepdads can weigh in with their advice and help. We are truly all in this together.
