As a parent going through a divorce, you may be uncertain how to begin treating the wounds created in your kids during this difficult time.
It’s up to you to keep the bonds with your children strong and healthy and if you can take the first steps, your child can begin healing.
Establish a New Relationship
When a child’s parents get divorced their whole world changes. Suddenly routines, family time and even simple outings have changed. A parent cannot expect the relationship they had with their children to remain the same either – it has to change.
In order to create that new relationship, start by offering open communication. Parents should let their children know they are always there with words and actions, even if they live apart.
Parents should lead by example by being open to change so their children can be open with them. Make sure your kids know you are open to discussing any topic with them, no matter how scary or difficult.
Take An Active Interest
As time progresses, usually one parent will see more of the kids and than the other parent. This can sometimes mean one parent is a regular part of their children’s daily life, while the other parent has to find their way in.
A Blumenauer Hackworth lawyer even says they look at parent/child relationships closely in each case to be sure there is fairness on both sides. In order to create a doorway back into their children’s life, the parent seeing less of their children should take an active interest and involvement in their children’s daily activities and interests.
Talking is great, but taking action is even better. The best way to take an active interest is by participating in activities your kids like. If a child likes sports, take outside to play, if they’re older you both could join a gym or take them to their favorite professional sports team game.
If they like art, join a painting class, learn how to use a pottery wheel or visit a local art museum. Actions speak louder than words and an active approach will mean a lot more to a child than a vocal one.
Make a Difference Together
Hanging out with the kids every weekend is the basic approach for a parent who is divorced, but there is so much more they can do to reach out to their kids. Rather than trying to do the same old thing, offer the children something they cannot get anywhere else.
Give your kids the opportunity to establish something with only them by offering a weekly activity or set routine. One great way to start is to volunteer with the kids.
Help them make a difference for someone else who is struggling in order to heal the struggles that came with the divorce. There are several venues for volunteer work to look into in order to find something that fits well with your own kids.
Do Not Make Enemies
Nothing is worse for children who are healing from a divorce than feeling like they are being fought over. No matter how much a parent dislikes their ex, they should not try to make an enemy out of them.
Rather than focusing on being the favorite parent, just focus on being the parent. It’s never a good idea for one spouse talk badly about their ex around the kids, or try and win the kids over.
The best thing to do is be a parent while the kids are still here, and focus on their needs ahead of yours. Reconnecting with a child takes work, but it is possible. All it takes is the right steps and knowing how to get through to them.
Protect your kids from the negative impacts of a divorce by keeping them out of the divorce drama.
