There’s an endless supply of resources to coach you through dating. Maybe you’ve even read some of it yourself. Some advice will conflict each other, and you’ve already got enough on your plate because it’s your first date. Here are some simple tips that uses your natural instincts to your advantage for an enjoyable first date.
1. You Feel Good When You Look Good
Dressing well on first meeting should not be about impressing your date. Remember that as much as you’re a decent human being who relates and cares about others, charming your date is not the ultimate goal. If it happens, it’s a nice bonus but the grand scheme shouldn’t rely on external validation.
So what is the real reason for changing your wardrobe from what you’d usually wear? The idea is not to act untrue to yourself. Instead you’re doing something nice for yourself today. It’s a reason to bust out an awesome button-down shirt you couldn’t justify wearing on a regular day. In the end, that boost of confidence will come through.
2. Talk The Talk
Dominating the conversation may interfere with developing a connection with your date. Having nothing to say might be interpreted as coldness. Below is a list of things you could talk about, as well as topics to avoid. After you share your thoughts, be sure to pause for your date to participate or prompt a response by posing a related question.
Do Talk About:
- What you like about your job
- Your favorite meal to cook
- A nice moment you’ve shared with a family member
- A favorite spot in the city
- Some everyday detail that inspires or moves you
- A trait that’s admirable in people you like
- What you would like to learn from this date (common interests, learning more about a topic your date knows much about, what makes your date laugh/smile, etc.)
Don’t Talk About:
- Previous partners or other dates
- Conflict with family members or at work
- Details about illnesses
- Your stance on controversial/hot-button issues
- Future plans you’ve made (marriage, children, cohabitation, etc.)
3. Managing Expectations
Unlike the special online dating services, the other dates mostly end up in confusions. This is due to the lack of ability to manage expectations of each other. While people have diverse interests in dating, this article is aimed at those looking for mutually respectful dating habits. That means it’s not realistic to expect your date to feel a certain way about you or commit to a relationship after a first date.
It’s hard to predict the future, and you may not even be an optimal match for one another. Rein in those expectations, and realize the first date is just that – an introduction of two people.
On the other hand, your date should not expect you to act outside of your boundaries. If you have financial concerns, it’s appropriate to express them ahead of time.
For example, if you feel strongly about splitting the bill fairly, express that ahead of time to avoid confusion. For students or others on a tight budget, come up with a list of activities that are affordable if the expenses aren’t shared.
