Even the strongest marriages have their difficulties. Over time, it’s common for you and your spouse to feel distant from each other, bicker, experience hardships and go through periods of misunderstanding and miscommunication. To strengthen the marital bond, one of the most marriage-enhancing experiences a couple can participate in is faith-based marital counseling.
This type of counseling engages, inspires, transforms, encourages and equips couples with the tools they need to succeed in their marriage and to stay true to their faith and vows. Before taking the courageous step to see a counselor, there are five things couples should adopt.
#1 – Understanding Your Role in the Conflict
When a conflict arises between a couple, each partner is responsible for their reactions and behaviors. Different personalities will result in varied reactions to conflict. For example, one partner maybe more vocal, engaging and negative than the other or one partner is unwilling to compromise and forgive.
To resolve conflict and for marriage counseling to be as helpful as possible, it is vital for each partner to understand their role in the conflict and how it affects the relationship.
In counseling, both couples can address their differences and approach future conflicts more constructively.
According to PsychCentral understanding your role can also reduce blaming, anger and resentment in the relationship and create a greater willingness to fix any existing problems. This occurs because there is a mutual understanding in the situation and both are able to engage in counseling in a healthy manner.
#2 – Awareness of the Marital Commitment
Couple’s counseling is meant to strengthen a marriage, making it a healthier and stronger union. However, if a partner doesn’t understand or is closed to fixing any existing issues, then marriage counseling may not be as helpful.
Therefore, before marriage counseling, one recommendation is to talk about the commitment to each another and how each feels about the marriage and addressing the existing problems.
Being aware of your own feelings about the marriage combined with your spouse’s feelings can help make counseling a more rewarding process. For example, if each partner is aware their partner wants to fix the marriage, then they will be more willing themselves to work hard and make the most out of counseling. Therefore, husband and wife must understand the marital commitment to each other and be clear about the other’s position regarding counseling.
#3 – Setting Marital Goals
A marriage with no direction is an unhealthy marriage. Marriages that have goals are able to work towards those goals with a strengthened commitment.
Therefore, before entering couple’s counseling, according to this Pastoral Care inc., it is necessary for a couple to discuss their marriage goals.
These goals to discuss with one another include things like
- what is wanted in life and out of marriage,
- how to speak about each another in a positive manner,
- what can be done to prevent and ease grudges,
- when and how to pray for one another,
- financial goals,
- attending church with one another, and
- talk to one another about major issues and feelings that occur.
By being clear about these goals and understanding they are mutually important, couples can attend counseling with a more open and healthy mindset.
#4 – Be Prepared for Change
Therapy is life-changing. It alters a couple and in turn the marriage itself. Couples must change the way they interact with one another, how they address problems and they must also let go of familiar unhealthy patterns.
For a couple to fully benefit from therapy, it is necessary for the couple to recognize the therapy is going to lead to change and the couple must also be open to that change.
Thus, before entering therapy, talk to one another about the concept of change within marriage and how the change will be handled in the long term and how each member can prevent from reverting to old ways once the therapy comes to an end.
Also, another note to keep in mind is change is difficult and it may take a lot of time before each partner institutes the needed changes to make the marriage healthier. Because it is so challenging to change an accustomed to personality, there should be no hard feelings and anger as long as effort is put in on the behalf of each marriage partner.
#5 – Choosing the Right Marital Counseling
Marital counseling is time consuming, difficult and challenging. It moves a couple out of their comfort zone. and calls the couple to lead a different way of life within the marriage. For this reason, it is necessary to discuss with one another what the right marital counseling place is.
For instance, if faith-based counseling is important then choosing an institute like Christian Counseling of Western Pennsylvania is an excellent option. Christian faith-based institutes approach marriage counseling by utilizing the bible and the teachings of Jesus Christ to help couple’s engage, encourage, transform, equip and empower their marriage to the fullest.
If you’re considering marital counseling, keep in mind the place where you go should be in line with the beliefs and values of each partner.
Aly Sweet has a few friends who recently went into Christian couples counseling to maintain and strengthen their marriage. She wants to share what she learned from her friends.
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