In 1994, during my courtship with the Pretty Lady, I learned she was no longer able to have children. After having two children she decided that was enough and because of the southern direction her marriage at the time was headed. She asked her doctor to cut and burn her tubes after giving birth to her last child. Thankfully, the doctor only stapled her tubes closed rather than cut them as she asked.
In the fall of 1998, my brave Pretty Lady underwent a nearly four-hour procedure to reopen her tubes. As evidence of the surgery’s success Nathaniel (translation “Gift from God”) was born in October 1999. The Pretty Lady’s pregnancy and the birth of Nathaniel Ramon Campbell was a special time in our blended family lives.
Writer Valerie Cyrus talks about how bringing a new baby into the blended family can contribute to strengthening the bond between family members and define the role of the stepparent.
There are several steps a blended family can take to bring everyone together, and having a new baby is high on the list. When two people with children from previous relationships decide to merge their families, there can be a lot of confusion about the roles of the stepparents.
This can cause some issues if the children lash out at their new stepfather, for instance, because he is not biologically related to them. However, a new baby that belongs to all of the family members can help to bridge the roles from stepparent to parent.
The Best Reasons to “Blend” a New Baby
It is natural for other children to feel jealous and even uncertain about their role in the family once a new baby is born. A lot of attention is placed on the new baby and parents may spend hours searching for new accessories like activity mats, developmental toys and portable play yards. Safe and high-quality brands like Ingenuity by Kids II and Bright Starts are always high on the list.
If you take the proper steps to ensure everyone feels included, the birth of a new child can actually strengthen the bond of a blended family. After all, the newborn will be a blood relative of the other children, and it will provide a solid link between them. At any rate, it is essential to make sure no one feels like they are being left out of the equation.
Tips for Including the Entire Family
Let Everyone Help with the Newborn
The age of the other children will determine the role they can play in the baby’s life, but it is important to let everyone participate. For example, a five-year-old can be put in charge of grabbing the mother’s nursing pillow when she needs it.
A teenager can be given the task of assisting with changing the baby’s clothing. Regardless of how you decide to have them help, it is essential to get everyone involved because it will make the family function as more of a cohesive unit.
Have Special Time with the Other Kids
Even though the newborn will command the majority of your time, both parents should spend special time with the other children so they do not get overly jealous. This is the perfect opportunity for the stepparent to prove they care about the older kids by taking them on special outings.
Plan Family Time
It is important to let your newborn start getting used to their siblings immediately. Therefore, you should plan specific times for the entire family to hang out together. This will help the older children bond with the baby, and it will also enable the family to function together as a single unit.
Keep in mind playtime is going to be especially important as soon as the baby is able to keep their head up, and the other children can help with this as long as they are carefully supervised.
Adding a new baby into a blended family is the perfect way to help the stepfather or stepmother take on a bigger role. As an added bonus, the interaction the entire family has with the baby will help the other children begin to look at their stepparents in a more positive light.
