The following post is contributed by Kelsey Mass, “Children Accepting their New Stepfather – Five Tips.”
Having a big change in your family can take a lot of getting used to, especially if your mother has just remarried. Even though he is a stepfather, you should still treat him with respect no matter how angry you are at your mother for remarrying so soon. You will have to get used to the idea of having a man around the house to take care of you, the way your father took care of you. There are several reasons you should respect your stepfather, but here are a few of them.
1) Easing Into a New Family
You should respect your stepfather for slowing easing into your family – it’s not an easy task. You may feel uncomfortable, but over time, you will feel more respectful of your stepfather. As long as they try to get to know you first, there’s no reason you shouldn’t let them find out the emotions and thoughts going through your mind.
2) Connections
Since your stepfather is taking on this huge role, it would be nice for him to have someone to talk to. Why not be that person? Besides, the kinds of discussions you would normally have with your father you may not be able to talk to your mother about. By getting along with your stepfather and showing him some respect, you can talk to him about the emotional roller-coaster you are going through and see if he can offer any advice, or he may be able to relate to your feelings.
3) Learning New Things
Your stepfather can likely teach you a whole bunch of new things you never knew about. Maybe they’re interested in astronomy or maybe they know how to fish. Maybe they are great at cooking or speak another language. Regardless, don’t be afraid to see what you could learn that you otherwise couldn’t!
4) Respecting Your Mother
Your mother obviously loves this new guy. Imagine how stressed she is worrying about whether or not you guys will get along. Don’t ruin this for them – respect your mother enough to give your new stepfather a chance. In fact, give him lots of chances. Her very happiness is at stake.
5) Be Patient
People make mistakes. People often miscommunicate. Even if it doesn’t seem like it, you might be at fault for a disagreement, or perhaps making it worse. Think about how hard it is for someone to uproot their lives and move in with 2 or 3 new roommates, all while keeping a 40 hour a week job! Give them a break, and try putting yourself in your parents shoes. Your mother and new stepfather will respect and reward you for it.
By carefully considering the preceding five reasons, you will have a better perspective when it comes to understanding your stepfather. And hopefully, your relationship with him with grow as a result.
Kelsey Mass enjoys writing about all sorts of issues affecting families including raising children, strengthening marriages, and is a contributing author for www.homeinsurance.org.
