Strategies to Stop Parenting from Guilt
Be Aware of Any Active Guilt Complexes
- Awareness of your default programming and guilt complexes is the first and most crucial step in releasing old patterns.
- Simply start by noticing where your thoughts or actions are motivated by guilt. Begin a journal of your observations.
- Affirm to yourself frequently guilt is simply a choice and it may not serve you or your children.
- Remind yourself you’re doing the best you can with the tools you have and your goal is to become wiser and stronger each day.
Choose “Being” Instead of “Buying”
- The most important gift you can give your children is your love.
- It gets more challenging to express that love on a daily basis simply because you now live for some portion of time under a different roof from your child.
- Some studies have shown American parents spend less than 12 minutes daily connecting with their children.
- Instead of buying your children’s affection, start a board game or read a book together. Those moments of connection will bring much stronger closeness and love than a dozen new computer games.
What children need most is a parent who is both strong and loving. A parent who can set firm and loving boundaries more than give presents and rewards. If you would like to learn more about how not to be a guilt driven permissive parent get John Rosemond’s book, “New Parent Power!”
