This is the final tip in the series Tips for Stepfathers Raising Stepdaughters. You can get to the first post by clicking here and the second post by clicking here. Thanks again to Lilly Babineau for her contributions to this article.
Know the Limits
As a stepfather, you need to know what could be considered physical and sexual abuse. With a stepdaughter, you should follow the mother’s lead for discipline and never act on your own. At any point, spanking her or laying harmful hands on her is considered a form of physical abuse.
Also, too much affection can be observed as sexual abuse. Kissing her on the cheek or forehead and hugs are appropriate forms of affection. A good rule of thumb is if you wouldn’t do it with her mother present then you probably shouldn’t be doing it.
Every little girl needs a daddy, and if her real daddy isn’t there for her, she will need someone who is whether she likes it or not. Remember your stepdaughter has experienced a significant loss – the loss of her first family and grieving this loss is a process with no set timetable.
When you enter her life she is wondering if you can be trusted with your heart. To win her heart, it’s important you are safe, reliable, consistent, and not someone who will break her and her mother’s hearts.
Finally, one tip for stepdads raising stepdaughters is to know your limits and respect boundaries. With love and some effort, your stepdaughter will warm up to you.
Read more great tips on how to be a good stepdad in the Archive How to Be a Good Stepdad.
