My eleven-year-old, Nathaniel, and I recently returned from a vacation in New York, where we visited Albany and New York City. During our two-week stay, we visited family and friends, went to museums, ate ice cream five nights in a row, and shopped.
We also went to NBC studios, saw the Smurfs, boarded the USS Slater, visited West Point and the Statue of Liberty, and rode the subways. The Pretty Lady was off camping in Vancouver, British Columbia woods for personal/business development training.
Near the end of our stay, we were both homesick and ready to return to California. On the cab to the airport, I asked Nathaniel what he considered the highlight of our stay. His answer surprised and enlightened me, “Dad, when we played board games at night.”
While we were in Albany, almost every evening after a day of site seeing, we played board games with our fabulous hosts, Ron and Helga. The games were competitive, i.e., plenty of trash talking as well as entertaining, i.e., the adults were drinking wine. We played several hours of Sequence and Uno till it was time to go to bed.
After several hours of playing Uno the first night, I hadn’t won a single hand talk about some hard luck. I felt like an honorary member of the Steve Urkel fan club.
Nathaniel enjoyed himself, especially interacting with adults in a light, playful setting. One day when rain was forecasted the next day, Nathaniel expressed he liked to spend the entire day playing games.
Later I learned from Nathaniel that Ron was blatantly cheating during our games with regularity. At least it was blatant to Nathaniel. It didn’t help matters Ron was giving me the “L” (Loser) sign. Helga and I weren’t paying close attention – perhaps too much wine.
During a Monopoly game, I received my first opportunity to connect with the Pretty Lady’s children. I can still remember the connection I felt when my future stepdaughter placed her hand on mine to help me move my game piece across the board.
I’m not exactly sure why it works, but something about playing games with kids opens a child’s heart allowing us as parents to connect. Maybe it’s because playing games makes us equal with our children and, depending on our skills, even vulnerable.
Yes, we’re still Mom and Dad, but that has nothing to do with who wins and loses. Also, the time we spend playing a game with our children allows you to walk the talk not only do you tell them you love them, but you are also showing them you love them too.
Most kids do understand you could be doing something else. If you’re like me and intimidated by the site of a video game controller, make the time to practice your skills or at least watch your kid while they play their game. When’s the last time you played a game with your kids? If it’s been a while, make a point to schedule some game time this week.
