Humor

Jokes About The Hawkeye State ~ Friday Humor

Iowa’s nickname is “The Hawkeye State” as a tribute to Chief Black Hawk, leader of the native American Sauk tribe. The tribe was relocated to Iowa after the unsuccessfully battling the settlers.

While Nebraska is called the Cornhusker State, more corn is grown in Iowa. Iowa leads the US in corn production, which explains why it is also known as “The Corn State.” Here are several jokes about the Hawkeye State; hopefully, you don’t think they’re too corny. 😀 

1. Why does all the corn in Nebraska lean east? (Hint: It’s not crop circles!) Because Iowa sucks!

2. Why do birds fly upside down over Iowa? Because it ain’t worth a crap.

3. What is the best thing coming out of Iowa? Interstate 35!

4. If pirates from the Pacific North West say, “Shiver me timbers!”, what do pirates from Iowa say? “Shiver me kernels!”

5A man counterfeits $18 bills and needs to get rid of them, so he takes a trip through rural Iowa. Coming to a small general store at a remote crossroads, he goes in and asks the old man behind the counter if he would please break his bill. The old man replies, “Sure, would you like two nines or three sixes?”

6. Iowa, the only state where you can watch your dog run away for three days.

7. What do they call 100 John Deeres parked at a McDonald’s in Iowa? Prom night.

8. Did you hear the governor’s mansion in Iowa burned down? It almost took out the whole trailer park.

9. Why did Iowa raise the minimum drinking age to 25? They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools!

10. How can you tell if someone in Iowa is married? The tobacco spit stains are on both sides of his pickup truck.

11. What do you call an Iowa football player with a championship ring? A thief!

12. Did you hear that Iowa’s football team doesn’t have a website? They can’t string three “Ws” together.

13. What do you call “Go Big Red!” signs on a lawn in Iowa? Home improvement.

14. What’s the difference between an Iowa Hawkeyes fan and a carp? One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

15. Did you hear about the power outage at the Iowa State University library? Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

16. What does IOWA stand for? I’m On Welfare Again, I Oughta Went Around or Inmates of the World Asylum.

17. Why do folks from Iowa go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more? Seventeen and under are not admitted.

18. You know you’re from Iowa when…

  • During a storm, you check the cattle before you check the kids.
  • You can tell the difference between a horse and a cow from a distance.
  • You know the difference between field corn and sweet corn when they’re still on the stalk.
  • There’s a tornado warning, and the whole town is outside watching for it.
  • You don’t clean up the dog’s mess because it’s just fertilizer.
  • The local gas station sells live bait.
  • You go to the State Fair for your family vacation.
  • You get up at 5:30 a.m. and go down to the coffee shop.
  • Little smokies are something you serve on special occasions.
  • You go to the river because it’s almost like going to the ocean.
  • All your radio preset buttons are country.
  • Your mayor is also your garbage hauler, barber, and insurance salesman.
  • You call the wrong number and talk to the person for an hour anyway.
  • Your excuse for getting out of school is that the cows got out.
  • You know cow pies aren’t made of beef.
  • Your early morning prayer covers rain, cattle, and pigs.
  • You want to buy manure.
  • You can tell it’s a farmer working late in his field and not a UFO.
  • You can eat an ear of corn with no utensils in under 20 seconds.
  • You wear your irrigation boots to church.

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars. ~ Fred Allen

I have self-doubt. I have insecurity. I have a fear of failure. I have nights when I show up at the arena and I’m like, ‘My back hurts, my feet hurt, my knees hurt. I don’t have it. I just want to chill.’ We all have self-doubt. You don’t deny it, but you also don’t capitulate to it. You embrace it. ~ Kobe Bryant

About the author

About the author

In 1995, Gerardo Campbell married his now ex-wife becoming the stepdad to her two children. In 2011, he started Support for Stepfathers to reverse the nearly 70% divorce rate for blended families in the US. His website is to help and inspire stepfathers, aspiring stepfathers and the women who love them worldwide. You can follow Support for Stepdads on Twitter and Facebook.

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