A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope addressed to “Dad.”, propped up prominently on the pillow.
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.
Dear Dad: It’s with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing to you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I’ve found real passion with Stacy. Stacy is very nice.
But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact she is much older than I am. But it’s not only the passion – Dad she’s pregnant. Stacy said we would be thrilled.
She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact marijuana doesn’t hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.
In the meantime, we will pray science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.
Don’t worry Dad. I’m 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I’m sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love, Your Son John
PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Tommy’s house.
I just wanted to remind you there are worse things in life than the report card that’s in my center desk drawer.
I love you. Call me when it’s safe to come home.
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