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The High Value Of Emotional Intimacy In Marriage

Developing intimacy in relationships doesn’t happen overnight. It requires time, patience, and active participation.


When talking about “intimacy,” many couples instantly think of the sexual side of their relationship.

However, the truth is emotional intimacy plays just as important of a role in a happy marriage – if not more important than a physical connection.

In a marriage, emotional intimacy happens when both partners trust and love one another enough to feel comfortable enough to talk about any topic under the sun. This requires deep respect, admiration, and also acceptance on behalf of each spouse.

From reducing divorce to creating fireworks in the bedroom, building emotional intimacy in marriage can improve your relationship in many different ways.

So, here are eight ways connecting with your spouse can strengthen your marriage.

1. It Promotes Respect and Happiness

Emotional intimacy encourages respect between partners. Likewise, respect is what makes you partners instead of merely just lovers. You can promote intimacy in marriage by:

  • Spending more time together
  • Giving each other your full attention
  • Practicing honest communication
  • Having a weekly date night
  • Spending more time together in the bedroom
  • Taking at least 30-minutes with each other without using electronics

A partnership is two people taking life on together. It’s about two people sharing responsibilities, being faithful, showing honor and love to one another. Also, never talking badly about their spouse to a friend or family member.

2. Improves Physical Intimacy in a Relationship

In marriage, when you and your spouse share emotional intimacy, you feel closer and more comfortable with one another. Consequently, the closer you feel to each other, the more likely you’re to be physically intimate together.

A 2013 research article published by the Journal of Sexual Medicine found the best predictor of sexual satisfaction for both men and women was a profound form of emotional intimacy in a relationship.

Having an intimate relationship makes you more comfortable talking to your partner about your wants and needs in the bedroom. Additionally, it may make your sex life more physically enjoyable.

Also, sex promotes the release of the bonding hormone Oxytocin. Oxytocin is responsible for that “puppy love” feeling you get at the beginning of relationships. It also contributes to higher levels of trust between romantic partners.

3. Emotional Intimacy Improves Communication

Sharing an emotional connection with your spouse can improve your communication skills with one another. Primarily because you’re more comfortable sharing deep thoughts or problems.

You’re also more in tune with each other’s emotions and thought processes.

Communicating effectively involves

  • Talking with your spouse in person about the subject at hand,
  • Respectfully listening to one another,
  • Sharing thoughts and opinions, and
  • Feeling free to talk about any subject honestly, even if it’s awkward or uncomfortable.

4. Reduces Arguments

Dealing with challenging situations is all part of being in a relationship. It’s bound to happen at one point or another, no matter how close you and your spouse are.

By taking the time to develop a close friendship and deep intimate bond with your spouse, you learn how to tolerate and handle challenges more efficiently.

It also helps you understand each other better and empathize with the other’s point of view during disagreements. You patiently hear each other out, listen respectfully, and focus on resolving your issues instead of using an argument as a reason to attack one another personally.

Frequent, free communication that comes from emotional intimacy also allows you to work out any issues you have before they fester into resentment.

5. It Promotes Mutual Growth

By being emotionally connected, you and your spouse will naturally spend more time together than apart. This means you will also likely take up hobbies and other social activities together.

Spending your time reading, exploring, cooking, or learning something new together is a wonderful bonding experience highly beneficial for long-term relationships. Consequently, sharing some of the same hobbies and experiencing life’s journey together, provides the opportunity to grow together instead of apart.

6. Love Reduces Stress

By sharing a close and intimate relationship with your spouse, you can reduce stress. When in love and deeply connected to a partner, the brain releases the feel-good hormone dopamine which stimulating the brain reward center.

This hormone can improve stress and anxiety levels. There’re other ways in which an emotional connection can improve your stresses.

One study by the University of Pittsburgh suggests sleeping next to a partner can reduce stress and improve sleep by promoting a feeling of security and safety through the release of oxytocin.

7. Building Realistic Expectations

Knowing you have someone who will always be there to love and support you is a real blessing. Many couples have unrealistic expectations of one another in marriage.

Keeping an open communication line and establishing a bond of emotional intimacy will help you keep a balanced view of married life. You’re able to accept one another’s limitations, forgive your shortcomings, and support each other through thick and thin.

8. Reduces Risk of Divorce

Regularly spending time together is also one way in which couples develop a deep, emotional connection with one another. One way they do this is by having a weekly date night.

One study found having a regular date night each week, in which couples are encouraged to spending quality time together without distractions, may reduce their risk of divorce.

A regular date night may also increase communication, bonding, and relationship satisfaction in marriage.

Emotional intimacy is the ultimate love connection. Intimacy in a relationship promotes

  • Mutual growth,
  • Reduces stress and arguments,
  • Increases self-esteem and
  • Boosts marriage satisfaction.

When you commit to building emotional intimacy in marriage, you’re telling your partner you want a happy, healthy relationship for years to come.

Finally, maintaining a strong sense of connection is essential to every intimate relationship. Learn the root causes of common intimacy issues and tips for overcoming them.

About the author

About the author

Rachael Pace is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has also helped countless individuals and organizations worldwide, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships.

She is a featured writer for Marriage.com, a reliable resource to support healthy, happy marriages. You can connect with Rachael on LinkedIn and Twitter.

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2 Comments

  1. Sex as a bonding tool is great but it is not the only part of building intimacy as most people think

    Intimacy is formed over time with constant interaction, learning about each others strengths and weaknesses, accepting each others flaws and complimenting one another

    Most times people use sex as an excuse and it is grossly abused, simply conversating on a deeper level about your fears and insecurities with one another will boost your intimacy level

    But its hard, no one wants to be vulnerable

    1. Hi Dave,

      Thank you for your comment. I agree with you, there’re so many effective ways to foster initimacy with your spouse.
      Rae.

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