Dealing with a stepchild who has chosen the difficult path of drug addiction can be crippling for you, their mother and the rest of your family. Despite all of your stress and turbulence, it’s still up to you, the stepfather, partnered with your wife to make things right. It would help if you got your family back on track.
Here are some pointers for how you can help a stepchild battling with addiction:
Remember You’re A Parent As Well
No matter how long you’ve been a stepfamily, you may have internalized you’re not the biological father. However, as a stepfather, you are still a father.
Never undermine your position or feel as though you can’t become involved. You have a big impact on every important aspect of your children’s lives. The role of any stepfather involves leading the household and raising the children as if they were your own.
They are your kids. You have every right to involve yourself in their lives, no matter how messy or difficult those lives may be.
Be Compassionate
Though it can be difficult to hide your disappointment, keep your relationship grounded in love. Being harsh or critical will only hurt your cause.
Try to be as understanding as possible. Create a comfortable environment and avoid pushing your stepchild away.
Reassure them that despite their wrongdoings, you still love them. You want them to make the best of their lives. Relating to them from a place of love, support and confidence in them will speak volumes.
It will do more for them than any discipline or disgust could ever achieve. If your relationship remains built on mutual trust, you can proceed in a more positive, cooperative way.
Beware of Codependency
Codependency, as defined by the Cambridge dictionary, means “being involved in a relationship in which one person helps to cause another person’s alcohol problem, drug addiction, etc. because they have a strong emotional need themselves.”
In many codependent relationships, one person’s identity is built around helping others even at the cost of addressing their own desires and feelings.
A codependent individual may rely on others to validate their self-worth and feel gratified by playing the caregiver role. Stepparents, there is no better time than now to prioritize your well-being. Being the parent of an addict can be physically and mentally draining.
Substance use disorders don’t just hurt the addict or alcoholic, they also damage the lives of those around them. Try and be aware of your feelings and emotions and know when you have to disengage and take a step back. Self-care is not selfishness. It is necessary and important.
Prepare Yourself For The Stone Cold Truth
Prepare yourself for difficult conversations and painful truths.
Sometimes, those reasons are tough to hear, let alone believe. Addiction usually is a twisted way of coping. Whatever your stepchild is dealing with, you have to give it due diligence.
Don’t dismiss or disbelieve it. It might involve social or familial issues. It could even be some unknown form of abuse you weren’t aware of and only known to your stepchild.
Regardless of the reasons behind their addiction, you’re still their father. Stay calm and composed. Don’t display extreme emotions.
Try your best to keep your composure and focus on the real issue: helping your stepchild beat addiction.
Seek Professional Help
Don’t be afraid or ashamed to turn to professionals for help. Seeking professional help doesn’t mean you’re weak as a parent.
Instead, think of it as an additional resource you can make use of. Getting therapists or counselors in on the action gives your stepchild more of a fighting chance.
Many rehab centers are free. Even ones that aren’t free often accept insurance coverage in part or even in full.
Make sure you speak with your insurance provider to find out if your rehab center is one of these. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the situation, these financial aids will help you deal with it as well.
Often, people who struggle with addiction are more connected to those with similar struggles. Convincing your stepchild to participate in a recovery group will remind them they’re not alone.
They’ll make friends and build a powerful support network. You and your family don’t have to take on this responsibility alone. Get help.
Also, you should consider attending family counseling to demonstrate your love and support further. Having everyone in the family involved will give your stepchild stronger allies.
The road to recovery can be a lengthy one, so remember to be patient. There may be a few letdowns and withdrawals along the way. However, when the prize is a happy and healthy stepchild, happy and healthy, you’ll find a way to beat the odds.
It’s no secret parenting comes with many challenges. Dealing with a stepchild’s addiction is just one you can be faced with. Drug abuse and addiction can often be a reason why your child no longer acts or even looks like themselves anymore. Here are the five most common signs your child may be using drugs.
