Going through a divorce is one of the most traumatic events a person can experience. Your expectations were you were making a life-long commitment. Being forced to let go of your plans and goals for your married life can be a painful adjustment.
Ending your marriage may be the best thing for you and your family. However, the loss of this relationship can still be challenging. It can even be compared to experiencing the death of a loved one.
In addition to dealing with the emotional repercussions that come with your divorce, addressing the legal and financial matters involved in the split can be incredibly stressful. Nearly every area of your life will be affected.
You will need to resolve issues related to money and property as well as determine new living situations and make adjustments to your daily routines. Current relationships with friends and family members can also be affected.
Divorce becomes more challenging if you and your spouse have children together. You will need to address a wide variety of legal issues regarding how you will share custody. Also, you will need to figure out how to divide the costs related to childcare, education, and activities.
Though your marriage is beyond repair, you and your spouse will need to figure out how to work together as co-parents and provide for your children.
Whether you are getting ready to get divorced or are already in the midst of the divorce process, a Wheaton divorce lawyer can provide you with legal representation and help you determine the best ways to address your legal issues and achieve your goals. As you work to complete your divorce, you should begin considering what you want your life to look like going forward.
Here are some tips to help you move on after a divorce.
1. Mourn the End of your Marriage
It’s likely you’ll go through the five stages of grief- denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It’s okay and understandable to deal with each of these stages. Recognizing and allowing yourself to experience them can help you work through your emotions and prepare you for your future rather than wallowing in the past.
2. Focus on Yourself
As you adjust to your new reality, you will likely find you have more time on your hands. You can use this time to discover new passions or do things you always wanted to do. This could include finding new hobbies, building new skills, or participating in organizations or volunteer activities important to you.
However, you should also remember, it is okay to take some time to adjust to your new reality, and you should not feel bad if you spend some time just getting used to being by yourself.
3. Set some Goals
As you begin to replan your life, you can consider what you want your life to look like in the future. Even if you are not yet able to implement major changes, you can set goals for what you want to accomplish in the future, such as pursuing a degree, finding a new job, or moving to a new location.
4. Get some Support
As you embark on your new life, it is important to remember you are not alone, and you can reach out to others for help when you need it. Family members and close friends can be a great source of support. You may also want to consider seeing a therapist help you work through the emotions you are experiencing.
Attending support groups for recently-divorced people is another great way to connect with others in your situation and help each other out.
5. Don’t Neglect your Relationships
Even though you may feel like being by yourself, a good social life is one of the most essential tips to help you move on after a divorce. Making sure you stay in contact with your friends and family can ensure you will be able to enjoy time with others, and you can continue to build positive relationships in the years to come.
6. Live a Healthy Lifestyle
Taking care of yourself during and after your divorce includes forming positive habits. Eating nutritious foods and getting regular exercise can not only keep you healthy and give you more energy but can be very beneficial for your mental health as well. It is usually best to avoid substance abuse or other unhealthy behaviors since this can be detrimental to your overall well-being.
7. Learn to Co-parent
If you and your ex have children, you will need to build a new relationship and work together to make sure your kids’ needs are being met. Be sure to communicate with each other about what is going on in your children’s lives, and try to be flexible when possible while putting your kids’ best interests first.
8. Be there for your Kids
Your divorce can consume a great deal of your physical and mental energy. Nonetheless, you will want to be sure you are focusing on your children’s needs as much as possible. Do your best to remain present when you are with your children, attend their events and activities, have fun doing things together, and let them know you will always love them & be there for them.
9. Avoid Conflict with your Ex
You may have some lingering resentment towards your ex-spouse. However, it will be in your best interest to avoid arguments about your relationship or other disputes. It is best to focus on moving forward rather than bringing up the problems of the past.
However, if you are experiencing conflict related to your children, or if your ex has not met their court-ordered requirements, you may need to work with a Naperville family law attorney to enforce or modify your divorce decree.
10. Don’t Rush into a New Relationship
Even though you may be lonely, it’s often best to take some time before looking for a new partner. By focusing on establishing yourself as a single person rather than one half of a couple, you can be better prepared for success in your post-divorce life, which will help you become a better partner once you are ready to begin dating again.
A divorce can overturn your world quickly and cause a mental breakdown. However, with the help of these tips to help you move on after a divorce, you can prepare yourself and take charge of your life soon again.
