Every relationship needs a solid foundation to survive. Even if you like your stepchildren, and think you’ll get along well with them, if there is no constant effort to keep up the relationship, things may go awry.
So, you may be wondering, what’s the key? What is the foundation made of? Now, a relationship can be made of many things. Still, there is one component that will help you get along with your child as best as possible.
Some people call it selflessness, but really, it’s just the smart way to act if you’re genuinely interested in a stable relationship with your stepchildren. And it’s all about one thing, it’s about giving. Yes, you read that right! And no, it’s not easy.
However, it’s what it takes to build a lasting relationship. Also, giving doesn’t just show the person you care, it helps the giver to develop love.
Here’re a few tips for getting along with your stepchildren, so they sense your love and want to reciprocate.
Give Compliments
The compliment can be about being able to climb all the way on top of the monkey bars, or drawing a pretty picture. Also, older kids, such as a teen or even a kid in college, can still get compliments.
Whether they’re training as a nurse and you notice they have a nice new pair of medical scrubs, or they hope to become a cook one day, and they make delicious foods sometimes. There’s always something to compliment everyone about, no matter their age.
Give Gifts
Don’t overdo it – they may not be interested in a gift every day! It doesn’t have to be anything big. You can even start off by choosing a gift and giving it to the child together with his other parent.
So, the child sees you both as a team and is more accepting of the gift, and less likely to reject it. It’ll also help him get used to the fact he has new parents, who work together to give him love.
Give Time
According to the US National Stepfamily Resource Center, it’s entirely normal for it to take four years until you and your stepchildren are comfortable with each other. Building a relationship with a stepchild can take a while, especially when the child still remembers his original father, and that’s okay.
Time is a natural healer, so let it work its magic. Keep trying to give, but do it subtly; start off small and then over time, do more. In the beginning, the child may seem uninterested, but over time, things can change.
As the awkwardness evaporates, warmth will be able to slowly seep into the relationship. Do things slowly, don’t overwhelm the child. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and a relationship with your stepchild will also take time to develop.
Give Space
Yes, you want to give gifts, love, and do whatever it takes to build a wholesome family. However, one of the most important tips for getting along with your stepchildren is to respect their space.
Don’t overdo it, if you see the child is uncomfortable with large gifts or effusive compliments, give him the space he needs.
Give Positivity
Any person will improve when surrounded by people with positive perspectives. You don’t need to discipline on your own at the beginning, leave that to your spouse. For a child to accept discipline in the best way possible, there has to be a basis of love first.
These tips for getting along with stepchildren will help you build a foundation for a stable, loving blended family. Show the child positivity, that you’re happy to know him, take the kids on fun trips, and give them a good time.
Help them feel happy around you! Here’re some benefits of spending creative time with your stepchildren.
