Father’s Day isn’t just about celebrating our biological fathers. Any man who has stepped up and taken on the role of a father figure is just as important on this special day.
Stepdads go out of their way to care for their families and build strong relationships with children (both young and adult) who are not biologically theirs. Blended families are extremely common.
Sixteen percent of children live in blended families, so there are many young people with stepfathers who absolutely deserve to be recognized on Father’s Day.
Sometimes though, celebrating with a stepdad can be tricky. Take a quick trip down the greeting card aisle and you’ll see there are tons of Father’s Day cards that say “Dad” or “Father” but only a handful with the appropriate wording for stepdads.
And that’s just where the challenges begin. For people who have both a birth father and a stepdad, the holiday can bring up feelings of both joy and sadness.
It can also make one feel like they’re being disloyal to a birth parent or a stepparent by spending the day with one and not the other. These feelings can also arise when it comes to planning gifts for biological fathers and stepfathers.
If you’re facing these challenges, you certainly are not alone. You shouldn’t have any negative feelings or face any internal conflicts, though.
With a bit of preplanning, you can show your stepdad the love he deserves without shortchanging your biological father or feeling guilty. Here are a few tips for celebrating Father’s Day with a stepdad.
Celebrating when you have Both a Birth Father and a Stepfather
Having a loving birth father and an amazing stepfather in your life is a wonderful thing. You should never feel guilty about seeing Father’s Day as an opportunity to show your love for both of them.
If you have kids and they have both a birth dad and a stepdad, encourage them to make or buy a gift or card for them.
They are fortunate enough to have two loving father figures in their lives. They should feel comfortable expressing their love and appreciation for both.
Fathers who no longer live with their biological children often feel threatened by the kids’ stepdad. These feelings are natural, but you can help your kids alleviate those feelings by encouraging them to show plenty of love for their birth father on Father’s Day.
If the biological father and the stepfather get along, consider planning an activity to celebrate them both together. You can have a backyard barbecue, take the entire family out for a round of mini golf or go out for a meal together at a local restaurant.
You could even do something fun like decorating plain t-shirts for dad and stepdad to wear on their day out. If the relationship isn’t so good, consider making plans with one in the morning and the other in the afternoon.
No matter how you work it out, make sure both “dads” are equally celebrated on this important day. If it’s not feasible to see both on the same day, plan one day with one and another day with the other.
The important thing is making sure both feel loved and valued.
Father’s Day when the Biological Father isn’t in the Picture
In many families, the biological father is, for one reason or another, no longer in the picture. Whether he is deceased or is no longer involved for another reason, many children have complicated feelings surrounding celebrating Father’s Day with their stepdad and not their birth dad.
It’s common to feel like you are betraying your “real” dad. These feelings are as difficult to process for young adults as they are for young kids.
Remind yourself (or your children) that family isn’t only about blood and DNA. It’s about the people who love us, take care of us and make sacrifices in their own lives to be there for us.
Remind young kids the fact their biological father isn’t around is not their fault and it’s okay to express their love and affection for their stepfather. As a young adult of a biological father who is deceased or uninvolved, give yourself the same grace.
Allow yourself (or your children) to grieve or express other emotions as appropriate. Father’s Day can be painful for those who don’t have a biological father but remember it can also be a joyous time to celebrate the man who has stepped up as a stepdad.
Celebrating the Special Stepdad in Your Life
When it comes to gifts and activities for your stepdad, the options are limitless. Any sort of family activity is always a great idea.
Plan a special outing, prepare a meal together as a family or just play a game of catch in the back yard. There is really no “wrong” activity as long as you are doing something your stepdad enjoys.
Finding the perfect gift or card can be a bit trickier, especially if you’re looking for something sentimental. Most commercially available products are geared toward birth fathers, but there are a few out there that are made for stepdads.
If you’re looking for the perfect Father’s Day gift to thank your stepdad for stepping up and being the parent he didn’t have to be, check out Etsy. There are all sorts of handmade gifts perfect for stepdads.
If you’re more of a do-it-yourselfer, you can also try your hand at making something special. You could make a custom t-shirt, personalize a drinking glass or come up with any number of projects to try. There are all sorts of stepdad Father’s Day gift ideas out there!
Finally, there are all sorts of special ways to make Father’s Day amazing both for biological dads and stepdads. Remember, the day is all about showing your love and appreciation so celebrate in whatever way feels right for you and your family.
Find out other great gifts for your stepdad to ensure a deeper connection and bond.
