Marriage can seem like a complicated thing especially within the blended family. With so many people getting divorced, it looks like a losing battle, but that doesn’t have to be the case.
If your desire is to keep your relationship with your spouse strong and healthy, be aware of five things possibly affecting your marriage.
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Money
The real problem with money usually isn’t there’s not enough for the couple’s needs.
When the couple shares a bank account they don’t take the time to discuss major purchases, or the “discussion” is more of a, “I’m buying this thing but I’m letting you know because I’m expected to.” That isn’t the appropriate behavior.
Some couples don’t share a bank account and they treat all money like “his money or her money”. This can cause contention and miscommunication as they decide who should pay for what out of the separate accounts.
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Friends
Friends are a good thing.
There are certain people that are toxic to your relationship and should be avoided. If a person you hang out with puts down your spouse or puts you down for supporting your spouse, they are not worth your time.
After hanging out with them you will come home discontent with your marriage even though you were happy with it before you spent time with them.
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Dating
One of the things possibly affecting your marriage is lack of fun and some spice. You should still make time for date night even when life gets crazy and hard. If you choose to have more kids, that can make it even more difficult.
However, it’s important you get that one on one time with each other. Make sure date night and local childcare are penned into your budget so you’ll have the necessary funds to slip away for a few hours. Talk to each other about your hopes and dreams.
Both of you are constantly changing so you’ll want this time to continue to get to know your partner, even if you’ve been together for quite a while.
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50/50
One of the biggest lies you will ever hear people say about a relationship is that it’s 50/50. This isn’t true and can produce unrealistic expectations.
Notice that typically the people who say this are either not in a relationship or are constantly in and out of relationships. They are probably not the person you want to take advice from.
Marriage will change each day. Some days you will only be able to give 20 percent because you’re having a rough time, or you’re sick.
On these days your spouse will need to give a little more so you can both make it through. On other days your spouse might be having a hard time and you’ll have to give a little extra.
This is normal, and even healthy for the two of you to have to sacrifice for one another.
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Family
Family is a wonderful thing and hopefully, you’re lucky enough to marry into one that’s only a little crazy. All families have their quirks, even yours.
It’s imperative you understand this so you don’t think the way your family does things is the “right” way. If you have a great relationship with your parents or siblings, that is awesome.
They are not present to see when your significant other does all the things that make you love them. If you complain about the silly little things that annoy you, that is all your family will have to make a judgment on, so don’t be surprised if they have an issue with your spouse.
Not all marriages are perfect and there are even certain situations that can be strong grounds for a divorce. If the reason is you have grown apart, however, you might just need to put a little more effort into your relationship.
Couples have to learn to work and grow together. More harmful to a marriage than hate is plain indifference.
Most couples stop caring about each other and this can possibly affect their marriage leading to divorce long before they hate one another. Strive to care.
Work to put them first, and never forget that it takes effort on your part. A blended family is a wonderful opportunity to extend your love for your spouse, but it can also create troublesome relationship conflict.
When it comes to merging two families together, things can get tricky. Here are the top 10 causes of relationship conflict that can make your dream marriage into a blended family a nightmare.
Featured image by Samantha Gades on Unsplash
