From bullies to academic performance worries, kids have a lot on their plates without the added stress of parental divorce. Research shows children from fatherless homes are much more likely to
- run away,
- commit suicide,
- drop out and
- abuse drugs and alcohol.
While the effects are frightening, mitigating these detrimental effects after divorce is possible for caring fathers.
Startling Numbers
To say the least, the statistics about fatherless children are alarming. From fatherless homes come
- 63% of youth suicides (US Dept. of Health/Census),
- 90% of homeless children (US Dept. of Health and Human Services) and
- 71% of high school dropouts (National Principals Association Report).
To a newly divorced dad, these numbers can be terrifying. But divorce doesn’t mean fathers have to be missing from their child’s life.
Children with loving fathers are more likely to have
- high self-esteem,
- perform well in school, and
- avoid high-risk behavior like drug use and crime.
By staying involved in their lives, even if you don’t live with them, you can mitigate the detrimental effects of divorce.
Handling Divorce
Newly divorced fathers often feel lost and overwhelmed with the even day-to-day activities. However, starting over again can be a new, exciting opportunity.
Rowdy Williams, a Terra Haute child visitation lawyer, points out that, generally speaking, unless the courts have specifically decided you’re unfit to have visitation rights, you should have the right to set up time to spend with your child.
You should take every advantage of those rights!
Help them decorate their new bedroom, so they feel more at home and relaxed. After a divorce, it’s not uncommon for children to be angry and pull away from their parents.
However, for parents who no longer live with their kids, it’s essential to work harder to stay in their lives and find new ways to connect. Maybe your kid has always wanted to try skateboarding or painting portraits.
Take a class together (or even just follow online tutorials) and it will become a fun bonding activity.
For Stepdads
Being the stepdad and not the biological parent doesn’t mean your influence isn’t felt in the home. The same things that apply to biological dads apply to you too.
You should be connecting with your stepchildren and trying to support them in any way you can. You can help your stepchildren feel at home and mitigate the problems that may come after a divorce.
This is especially crucial if their biological father isn’t in the picture. You have a sacred trust to help them in an appropriate way.
No matter how it shakes out, children need both parental figures. While it’s possible to be a single parent, it’s better for everyone if both mom and dad are involved with their child. Whether you are the biological dad fighting for your children or the stepdad stepping up to the plate for these little ones, don’t give up on them.
