As you begin the adoption journey, you may be thinking of the end – a young child who now calls you “mom” or “dad.” While this is the destination, there are a great deal of steps in between. It will likely take a lot of time and work until then.
If you are starting the process, keep the following things in mind to help you on your adoption journey.
Arrange for Counseling
As you’ve likely come to find out, adoption isn’t easy. If you and your spouse feel overwhelmed by the process, if you are struggling in your marriage or even if you have already adopted a child and need help – never avoid counseling that can help strengthen your family.
Having a therapist or adoption specialist to join you during the entire journey will provide you with an outside perspective that can help to smooth over any issues.
Prepare to Discuss Your Child’s Past
Your child comes with a history. Whether that includes parents who were addicted to substances or drugs, or living in a foreign country, there will come a time when you’ll need to discuss this with your child. If you adopt your child as an infant, you’ll likely need to explain a lot to them as they grow up about the adoption process and their previous parents if you have that information.
If the child is older, they might have questions or issues relating to their past. You’ll need to talk about this eventually. While this isn’t always something you’ll discuss right away, it is best for you and your spouse to determine from the beginning how you will handle the situation.
Talk about what you will tell them, when to tell them, how you will present the information and then deal with any issues as you come to them. Your adoptive child will need to know this information when the time is right. As you begin to share information with your child, do so in a way they are able to understand, recommends Adoptive Families.
Adoption Law Varies From State to State
When starting the process, it is important to remember adoption laws are different depending on which state you live in, according to Charles P. Dargo, a family lawyer in Demotte, Indiana. Adoption laws in your state may not be the same in another state.
It is also fairly common for laws and regulations to change. Be sure you have done your homework and read up on current information that gives you a good idea of the adoption laws in your state. Most likely, you will need help from a legal professional at some point in the process in order to make everything official.
Be sure you’ve done your research before meeting with a legal representative so you can be ready with specific questions that can help you move along on your journey.
You Will Have to Adjust to a New Role
Whether you already have children or are planning to adopt your first child you will have to adjust to lifestyle changes and alterations in your roles or responsibilities. You’ll feel a shift as you become a parent to this child – especially if you are a first-time parent.
Yes, the adoption process requires a lot of paperwork, meetings, evaluations, etc.
Do research, seek advice from friends and family and do all you can to prepare to be an adoptive parent.
If you already have children, you will still need to prepare to be an adoptive parent. There could be special circumstances with your adopted child you never experienced with your other children.
Private Contract Adoptions
If you are able to prove to the family court the adoption will be beneficial to the child and will not harm the public interest, the court may choose to enforce your contract, raising the adoption to the level of a formal adoption, according to encyclopedia.com.
Different Types of Adoption
Your child’s adoption will be one of two types: inter-country or open. In the first type, you won’t have very much information about your child or their family.
In an open adoption, your family may have occasional, ongoing contact with your child’s birth parent(s) or family. However, you can choose the level of contact you have with your child’s biological parents and/or family.
Yes, you will have a long road ahead of you if you are just starting the adoption journey. However, this is an extremely rewarding endeavor.
Be sure to do your research and prepare for parenthood, as well as get all of the paperwork and legal work in order. As you stay organized and motivated on the road to adoption, you’ll find it was all worth the wait.
If you’re a stepparent considering adoption of your stepchild please read, “Adoption Advice for Stepparents.”
