How To Get Back On Your Feet After A Divorce

Getting past a divorce and moving on with your life is more than just an emotional step. The entire legal process is aggravating, exhausting and draining.  Immediately after a divorce there are several actions that must be taken to reclaim control of your life and protect yourself from future risks. 

Assess Your Situation

When up is down and down is up the most important thing you can do is orientate yourself to reality.  Take an inventory of all your responsibilities and make sure they are in compliance with the final judgment or divorce decree. 

While a divorce may take some time in terms of getting it through the court, the whole process will likely take less than a year.  If it takes more than a year, and this is important, it is not likely to start on January first and end on December thirty first of the same year. 

Part of orientating yourself to reality means assessing your liabilities and obligations financially going forward.  While there may be general language in a decree stating that the two parties are separated and independent the decree does not report to the Internal Revenue Service. 

While the decree may say that each party is liable for certain assets, the decree does not mail itself to the bank.  Identify what your assets are and any legal documentation that has both of your names on it. 

While this may have been done as part of a divorce, it is necessary to follow up the divorce with the actions that make the decree worth the paper it is written on.

Take Control

Once you have discerned the extent of your obligations it is time to make your life reflect the declarations of the court order.  To be independent you must get your name off of any loans, titles, insurances, utilities, and any other property that you once held jointly. 

Remove your former spouse from anything you own and do not rely on the former spouse to take your name off of anything (always within the guidelines of the decree).  Consult with accountants and tax professionals to determine what you can expect at the end of the year and get any signatures or documentation from the former spouse in advance. 

If you allow the time to elapse until the last minute, you may put yourself at the mercy of the mood of a disgruntled former spouse.  Never delay.

Move On

There is no clear one size fits all method that will help one person get started with their life after a divorce.  Review any wills, trusts, or investments and reconstruct them in a way that reflects your life as it currently is. 

While a divorce decree will normally have standard language built into it relieving a former spouse of their rights in a will, it is not always the case.  You will be better served recording a formal change of the will in the public record of the county you live in and establishing a new instrument altogether. 

The worst possible outcome is for your former spouse to retain some legal entitlement to your property when you die due to a failure to correct the will.  To move on you must get all of your affairs in order in the present and the future. 

Part of having something to offer to someone new is becoming your own person with something to offer.  Removing a spouse does more than provide you with legal protection, it provides you with closure.

A divorce is rated as one of the most difficult psychological experiences that a person goes through, nearly equivalent to the death of a loved one.  The process of recovery does not have to be painful even if it is not easy. 

It is advisable to consult with your attorney who may be able to advise you best in your emotional distress.   If depression settles in after a divorce, the consequences can be dire, and it is important that you are proactively taking control of your life. 

Having a strong foundation of close friends who will support you in your time of need cannot be overvalued.  Divorces are sought out because one or both of the parties believe that ending the relationship will result in greater happiness. 

While the pain of going through a divorce may be severe, the responsibilities of life will still be there.  To get on your feet, despite all of the pain, anger, or sadness; you must simply stand.

About the author

Ray Donato is a freelance writer who has once felt the sting of divorce. When given the chance he provides advice to help others move through such a trying time in their lives. For those needing a good, caring divorce lawyer he highly recommends turning to the Julyan Law Firm. You can learn more about Ray on Google+.

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