Having “The Talk” with one of your children is probably something you are looking forward to, especially if it is your first time having this conversation. It can be awkward and confusing for both parents, guardians and children alike.
Adding in complicated family dynamics can make it even more awkward. That doesn’t make it any less critical to properly teach teens about safe sex.
There are three main points to tell teens when discussing safe sex. The points are how to:
- Keep the sex safe,
- Make sure you have consent, and
- What the risks are.
Keeping the Sex Safe
For a teenager who is starting to wonder about sex, there are a lot of questions they may not want to ask you, for whatever reason. As a parent or guardian, it is your job to help your teen feel comfortable, so they are willing to ask you those questions.
Both young men and women need to know about birth control methods and how to properly use them.
However, if your teen doesn’t know how to use a condom, it isn’t going to help. The prevention isn’t a perfect number, but it’s much better than not having any protection.
Even if the girl is on birth control, make sure you stress condoms are also crucial for preventing any STDs (sexually transmitted diseases). Talking about STDs may gross your teen out, but it’s something they need to understand, especially if they’re going to be sexually active.
Consent
Most teens don’t properly learn about this when receiving “The Talk” so make sure you emphasize it.
Discuss ways to say “no” and how to respond to “no” respectfully. Also, mention how body language and verbal agreement or dissent come into play.
Additionally, stress the effects of drugs and alcohol void any agreement for sex. If you, as a parent or guardian, are struggling to demonstrate how to teach this subject adequately, Teach Consent is a website full of videos and resources on educating others about consent.
Risks
Discussing abstinence over safe practice doesn’t make the teen any more informed on how to navigate situations where they feel pressured into sex or, more importantly, when they don’t. It’s okay to talk about abstinence, but don’t neglect to talk about what they should be doing to protect themselves.
Anything that happens they didn’t want or said no to is not okay. They need to feel comfortable coming to you about this.
The topic of having safe sex is one every parent and guardian has to have with his or her child, so it’s important it’s done well. Going over what safe sex is, how to say “yes” (or “no”), and the risks are all a part of “The Talk.” While it is intimidating, the alternative is an uninformed teenager growing into a world of educated adults.
