We all get it at some point. That horrible feeling that won’t go away.
The continued thoughts and cloud of doubt that won’t leave. If you’ve ever been hurt or betrayed before it can be hard to trust again.
The fear your spouse could be cheating can creep up on you in a moment. Sometimes these worries are entirely justified.
Maybe the relationship hasn’t been going so well recently. Perhaps you’re arguing more, or they seem to have been avoiding you lately.
You could even be aware of someone else they’ve been spending a lot of time with that maybe has set off alarm bells. If any of these resonate with you, it’s important not to panic.
Sometimes our insecurities and paranoia can get the better of us and turn irrational thoughts into perceived reality.
Your behavior shouldn’t change. You certainly shouldn’t let your fears dictate your actions as this could be quite damaging if it turns out you were wrong.
The following are a list of suggestions for you to consider doing to help put your mind at rest.
Be Spontaneous – Mix up your Schedule and be Unpredictable
Take your other half on regular and spontaneous dates. Even if you’re both busy working, consider picking them up on their break to take them out for lunch.
It could be there are problems in the relationship that don’t include someone being unfaithful; this might help to fix it. Spending more time investing in your relationship is always a good move with very few downsides.
What happens if this doesn’t seem to help things? Well, it could be just a more profound problem you’re unaware of.
This might not necessarily even have anything to do with your relationship; it could be simply they’re struggling with an unrelated personal problem.
However, if they are randomly busy or continually dodge the opportunities to spend time with you, then maybe you should have cause for concern. Being spontaneous also means if they are cheating, their lies will become harder to keep track of and they’re more likely to slip.
Be More Open
This is something overlooked. Many people who feel like their partner is cheating often jump to conclusions and solutions right away.
That isn’t always the best idea though. Sometimes a more personal touch can be the easiest way to get answers. Vulnerability breeds vulnerability.
This could even lead to answers about why they were behaving differently recently. Try to make a point of letting them into your life, small things like using your phone or having its password are some great ways to demonstrate trust.
However, if they’re happy to accept these things but won’t return the favor of letting you access their phone, then you might have a good reason for doubting their honesty.
Phone Tracking
If you’re still suspicious, phone tracking is a very viable option. However, this is a very invasive and unethical method if done secretly, so this decision shouldn’t be taken lightly.
There are various apps enabling you to track your partner’s phone, everything from free and paid apps, to Snapchats “SnapMaps” function.
The best one, however, is probably one that comes built-in with most iPhones named “Find My Friends.” This function allows you to see precisely where your partner’s phone is at any given moment.
It does, however, require both parties involved to have an iPhone. This method is very invasive and could severely damage the trust in your relationship if your spouse finds out, especially if you don’t get their permission first.
That’s why it’s better to take a more open approach. Suggest you both have access to each other’s locations, so they know you’re safe or in case one of you loses your phone and needs to find it again.
There are a number of practical reasons to use this application and propose using it for those reasons. If they become defensive, aggressive or downright refuse, that could be a warning sign but, just because they don’t want to be tracked doesn’t mean anything. It might just be something agreeable with their personality.
Private Investigator
The final option that will almost certainly help you to find out whether your spouse is cheating or not is to hire a private detective. They are often very discreet and will usually provide you with information without your partner ever finding out they were involved.
Even if your other half takes long international trips, good private investigators can also trace people overseas. They can go to places that we can’t and have access to resources that often make finding answers quick and easy.
Some companies will even provide the opportunity to “honey pot” someone and see how they react when approached by an attractive member of the opposite sex. This is an option that will give you the answers you are seeking, so it might be worth skipping the other steps if you want a fast response.
Do some people believe secrets will strengthen your relationship? Do you? Click here to find out how secrets affect your relationship.
