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leading your child through divorce -Confused child with broken paper family

Leading Your Child Through Divorce

Divorce is an emotional and potentially volatile process. Divorce requires discretion and compassion for everyone involved – allowing parents and children to make a stable lifestyle transition.

An emotional and conflict-driven separation can only further negatively impact kids in a situation that’s already difficult for them. Parents should always seek to dissolve their marriage in a civilized fashion so they can help their child through and post-divorce.

Here several tips divorcing couples can use to reduce the stress and confused feelings accompanying the fundamental family changes as a result of divorce.

Respect and Support Each Other

Regardless of the reasons behind the separation, both spouses must keep their emotions and feelings regarding the other parent in check.  Avoid saying negative things out of turn about the other parent especially in front of the children and family.

Divorced couples who learn how to interact with each other calmly, civily and respectfully, will greatly reduce their kids stress level.

The idea of sharing custody can be painful for any parent. However, it’s important to keep the needs of the kids in mind when negotiating long-term custody and living arrangements.

When both divorced spouses can learn to work together they help the children involved adapt to their new living situation.

Communicate with the Kids

Perhaps one of the easiest mistakes parents make during a divorce is leaving their children out of the loop. Many times, divorced parents feel like they are sparing the kids when in reality they’re aggravating the situation by making it harder for them through isolation.

Parents should explain the situation in a conversational setting with their children. Where their kids have the opportunity to express their feelings and ask questions. Ask for their opinion regarding living arrangements and what kind of custody they would prefer in a respectful and kind way.

Allowing children to have some influence in the process will give them a sense of control and stability in otherwise volatile circumstances.

Talk to a Professional Divorce Lawyer

Even an amicable divorce can be legally and financially complex. Both spouses should seek advice and services from a professional divorce lawyer who can advise them during mediation or represent them in court.

Firms that specialize in divorce law, like Jeffrey N. Novack offer comprehensive consultation throughout the proceedings to ensure their client is treated fairly in terms of custody and financial support. Hiring an attorney to oversee the divorce process gives parents more time to deal with their own emotions and spend time with their kids.

Talk to a Family Therapist

Marriage Family Therapists who specialize in for kids and young adults can help children of divorce understand the situation and develop a healthy attitude towards the arrangement. Kids of separating parents often feel a sense of responsibility or guilt for the negative changes in their life.

This can have serious consequences on their self-esteem and overall mental health. Family therapy can also be beneficial to the parents as a source of ideas for helping their kids cope and adjust during daily life.

The weeks or months following a divorce are often filled with emotional turmoil for the spouses. However, they can’t let these feelings get in the way of their parental duties.

The needs of children should always come first during a separation. Both parents need to make a concerted effort to stay connected with their children and help them overcome the emotional hurdles caused by the separation.

About The Author

A graduate from the University of San Francisco, Anica Oaks is a full-time freelance writer. She’s already published articles for a variety of industries, ranging from technology to beauty to health. She loves dogs, the ocean and anything outdoor-related. You can connect with her on Google +.

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