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How to Have a Peaceful Divorce

Even the Most Amicable Divorce is Stressful and Can Become Contentious

Divorce is one of the most stressful experiences a person can go through.

Follow these basic tips to minimize the pain and move on.

Whatever the circumstances and however sensible the parties, divorce is never going to be easy. Even for the most amicable of divorcing couples, things all too often deteriorate into bitterness and accusations.

The key factors for reducing the pain of the divorce process as much as possible are to:

  • Remain objective and
  • Appoint a good divorce lawyer as soon as possible.

They will have the experience to give you the best advice and to handle the legal process. Making sure of the best outcome for all concerned.

Follow these basic tips, and you have a good chance of keeping your sanity intact and coming out the other side of the divorce process ready to continue life afresh.

Make the Best Use of Your Solicitor

Everybody, including your estranged spouse, will be offering an opinion.

However, your solicitor is the only person who can offer advice you can be confident is legally sound and in your best interest.

Having said that, it’s important you understand what is happening and why. After all, you are the client, and the solicitor is acting on your behalf.

For this reason, it’s important you and your solicitor have a good rapport.

A good solicitor will make sure you’re in control and comfortable every step of the way.

Get Through the Emotional Upheaval

However tough you might be, divorce inevitably leads to emotional upheaval for both parties. Whether you couldn’t wait to get out or you tried your hardest to save the marriage, it’s a time of immense change.

Feelings of loss, pain, anger and depression are common. It’s imperative to work through these feelings.

While friends and family are important, most have a degree of emotional involvement of their own. They’re likely to feel uncomfortable if there’s any suggestion they’re being asked to “take sides.”

For this reason, many people find it easier to open up to a neutral counselor.

Agree on Parenting Responsibilities

One point on which even the most bitter divorcing couples usually agree is when children are involved, their interests must be put first.

While this is easily said, differences of opinion still arise as to what those best interests are. Despite the best of intentions, children can become emotional weapons between warring parents.

Your respective solicitors will have the skills and experience to help prevent this. The sooner you can agree on questions of custody, access and child support, the smoother the process will be for everyone, not least the children themselves.

Move On

An amicable split is great, but it’s still a split. In order to successfully move on, you need to sever ties with your ex-spouse.

Don’t call upon them for advice or help and keep communications formal and business-like. Communicating by letter or email is ideal.

It is more impersonal than text messages or phone calls. Many divorced couples still need a degree of interaction when they have children.

Again, keep all such communication concise and to the point. At all costs, avoid the temptation to use children as messengers.

About The Author

Megan Bennie is a solicitor at Grayfords, who specialize in English and International family law.

Divorce is one of the hardest situations for a family to experience. Studies have even shown it can even be harder than a death in the family. Here are five ideas your children might have about divorce – even kids who are no longer living at home.

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