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Forming Families Through Egg Donation

You’ve been dreaming about the perfect family; a family that’s complete, wholesome and irrevocably yours. However, after another setback in your infertility journey, you’re wondering whether you’ll ever get that fairy-tale ending.

Your fertility doctor suggested surrogacy or adoption. However, you’ve always dreamed of carrying and nurturing your own child in your womb.

Instead, you’re exploring donated eggs as a possibility. You may have researched cost comparisons, but there’s still one aspect of the process you’re considering – the genetics.

How will you feel a connection to your baby if they don’t share your genes? This is a common worry.

Fortunately, there are still plenty of ways you can form this loving connection while creating the dream family you want, need and deserve through egg donation.

Finding a Donor

There are two primary options available when using egg donors. You can use an agency to find an anonymous donor or selecting someone you already know.

Initially, many feel a related donor is the answer – they’ll share your genes, you know their history, characteristics and medical conditions. Also, they’ve always supported you throughout the ups and downs of life.

But will this create awkward family/friendship dynamics? And would you feel obligated to tell your child who their donor was?

In contrast, an egg bank allows you to choose your donor anonymously. You can look through a list of potential candidates who meet your search criteria.

This may include physical characteristics, such as height, eye color, and hair color. Also, it may be specific traits, like whether they are academic, musical or athletic.

It’s a good idea for you and your partner to create a list of these priorities separately. This will help identify what you consider most important before you look at them together.

Having this ability to choose someone possessing the traits you’d like your son or daughter to have enables you to create an instant connection with your child.

Before she’s even born you know something about her, just like you would if she was sharing your genes.

Egg banks will also appropriately screen each candidate. The bank will carry out extensive tests like physical and psychological examinations, drug usage screenings and detailed family histories.

Due to the numerous possibilities provided by an egg donor search, you often need to give yourself a few months to find the ideal donor.

Passing on Your Genetics

As well as enjoying the knowledge your donor shares some important characteristics with you and your partner, there’s still a wonderful possibility your baby will share your genetics, too. A recent study revealed some groundbreaking information: some genetic material may be passed from mothers using donor eggs to their children through endometrial fluid.

This is due to MicroRNAs (a type of molecule) secreted in a mother’s womb from the moment of conception. MicroRNA acts as a communication system between the growing baby and the mother.

These tiny molecules pass information from a mother’s genes through the endometrial fluid to the developing baby. The fluid thus regulates the expression of the baby’s genes.

Therefore, when you opt for egg donation, you’re still shaping your child’s future. You’re creating an unbreakable bond while you carry him in your womb.

Creating a Future

Throughout the process, you’ll experience a vast array of emotions. Each of the emotions you go through, from anger to sadness and elation to grief, are completely normal and understandable.

At first, you may find it hard to come to terms with losing that genetic connection. Nevertheless, when you consider all of the setbacks and challenges you’ve already had to overcome, the prospect of not only carrying a child but carrying one that shares yours, your partner’s, and a carefully-chosen donor’s genes will offer a glimmer of hope in your IVF journey.

It’s a light at the end of the tunnel you never thought possible.

As you begin to nurture your unborn child in your tummy, you’ll experience all the feelings of a mother. Knowing you’ve created this tiny miracle completes your fairy tale.

You’re creating a child through unconditional love, providing them with the most amazing life. Ultimately, IVF with donated eggs truly does unite the genetics of you, your partner, and your donor.

As you go forward on this incredible journey, it unites you all through love and hope, forming the perfect family you’ve always dreamed of.  

About The Author

Heidi Hayes is the Executive Vice President of Donor Egg Bank. She has more than 20 years of healthcare experience and has worked extensively in the field of reproductive endocrinology. Having been unsuccessful at traditional IUI and IVF treatments, Heidi personally understands the struggles of infertility. After many years of trying to conceive, she ultimately built her family through adoption and donor egg treatment. She always believed if she didn’t give up, her ultimate goal of becoming a parent would someday become a reality.

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