Factoring Physical Distance Into Your Divorce

Eileen O'Shanassy06/23/2017

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factoring physical distance in your divorce - husband waving bye to his wife and child across a wide chasm

A divorce can be one of the most emotionally traumatic experiences anyone ever goes through. Whether or not both parties desire the dissolution of the marriage, the finality of legal proceedings can cause a great deal of stress and anxiety.

Coupled with the hassle of dividing personal and financial possessions, having to constantly see the person you’re divorcing can be a stressful reminder of the failure of your marriage. For this reason,

physical distance from one another can often greatly help reduce anxiety during a divorce.

Physical distance can also have some negative effects. For example, in the case where you might share children, see certain family members less often or lose touch with each other.

Here are some ways physical distance can help or hinder during divorce proceedings and what to keep in mind.

Moving Out

Regardless of whether you own or rent your home, one or both parties will be expected to move out when you file for divorce. If you can agree on who’s moving, schedule time for the other spouse to pack while the other is gone.

If there are jointly owned items, collect those items in one place so they can be quickly sorted and agreed upon in a single span of time. This will reduce feelings of guilt associated with seeing your soon to be ex.

Signing Papers

Though you often have the choice of delivering divorce papers yourself, it’s best to let the lawyer mail them or use a process server.

This avoids awkward interactions that can lead to stress and anger in one or both parties.

You can also schedule any signing and notarizing of paperwork at separate appointments to reduce the amount of time spent together. If you need to go over any of these issues together before signing, it might be best to make sure you can do it in the presence of your lawyer or another third party.

Kids and Distance

In the case children are involved in the divorce, distance can sometimes be a negative. You’ll need to make sure they have access to both parents and don’t feel abandoned or left behind.

If you do increase physical distance, be sure kids know how to get in touch with parents and can easily visit on their own. Whether it’s by bus, train or car make sure they have safe transportation and feel independent about which parent they can see at a given time.

If your kids will be traveling on their own to keep parents separated, accident lawyers recommend they know how to stay safe and are old enough to travel on their own.

In Cases of Violence and Abuse

In cases where one party has been abusive to the other, it’s not only a good idea but is of utmost importance that both parties maintain their distance.

This is to ensure the safety of the abused party. If the abuser refuses to respect their partner’s need for physical distance, obtain a court order to get the necessary legal protection.

Though maintaining physical distance from one another can make the process of divorce lengthy with the need of using the mail and separate appointments, the benefits far outweigh the inconvenience. It’s important to hire a lawyer that understands your desire for physical distance from one another and encourages whatever will reduce your stress.

Though divorce marks the end of a marriage, it’s also the first step in your new life. You cannot succeed with your new endeavor easily if you are constantly reminded of the past.

About the author

Eileen O’Shanassy is a freelance writer and blogger residing in Flagstaff, AZ. She writes on a variety of topics and loves to research and write. She enjoys baking, biking and kayaking. Check out her Twitter @eileenoshanassy.

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