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A rare gift

A Rare Gift

In a perfect world, stepparents would get along harmoniously with the bioparents.

Stepparents and bioparents would partner and collaborate in raising the shared children to mature, emotionally healthy adults.

Hidden agendas, fears of an outsider taking over your role, and grudges from past hurts and wounds would permanently be set aside allowing the decisions to be made which are always in the children’s best interest. Stepparents would be honored and appreciated by both bioparents and stepchildren for the positive role they have in everyone’s lives.

Thankfully, a stepparents world is varying degrees removed from perfection. Bioparents can view stepparents as threats to their roles as Mom and Dad out of personal insecurities and fears “of being replaced.”

While it’s not usually directly communicated by the bioparents, the perceptive children usually pick up on these insecurities.  As a result, the children keep their stepparent at arms length not allowing themselves to get too close out of fear of hurting their bioparent. Associated with this fear would be a avoidance/reluctance to ever express any kind of appreciation to the stepparent. Related behavior would be treating the stepparent disrespectfully and acting like they don’t exist. 

It is for these reasons I say, “Thankfully” for it’s under these less than perfect circumstances that many of us [stepparents] rise to be our best selves.

Stepparents Natasha and Jason received what has to be considered a rare gift from biological parents. Bioparents Jamey and Tara divorced after seven of marriage and have a son, Nakhjavani. Tara eventually remarried to Jason who’s now Nak’s stepfather. Jamey also has a new partner, Natasha.

I challenge you to watch this emotional video without tears coming to your eyes. Jason and Natasha think they’re going to participate in a discussion on blended families, but bioparents Jamey and Tara have a surprise in store for them.

Jamey and Tara both wrote a letters to their stepparent counterparts Jason and Natasha explaining how they feel about them as a stepparent. Sitting face-to-face, they read their letters to the new parents in their child’s life.  Hopefully, as with your own stepchildren, Nak is a very loved and cared about son.

Most of us [stepparents] will never be affirmed the way Jason and Natasha were. This shouldn’t discourage us from doing good.

We will harvest a good crop if we don’t give up or quit. We are encouraged to bless others every time we get the chance starting with the people closest to us in the community of faith. Galatians 6:9-10

About The Author

Gerardo Campbell is a Nebraska native who now calls Silicon Valley, California home. In 1995, Gerardo married his wife Roberta aka the Pretty Lady and became the stepdad to her two children. In 2011, he started the website Support for Stepfathers in an effort to reverse the nearly 70% divorce rate for blended families in the United States. His website is to help and inspire stepfathers, aspiring stepfathers and the women who love them worldwide. You can follow Support for Stepdads on Twitter @support4stepdad and on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/resourcesforstepfathers.

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