People Don’t Magically Change Just Because They Got Married
Phrases like “He’ll start going to the gym after we get married” or “She’ll change her mind about having children after marriage” are common and terribly mistaken at the same time. People don’t become someone different through marriage, no matter how special this moment seems, and you can’t push your spouse to make a change if they don’t want to.
Understanding Is Often Underestimated
Do They Really Need To Change?
If you feel the need to change your partner after having an argument for a stupid reason, you are wasting your energy on insignificant issues. Surely, your partner may have some annoying habits, but should you get angry every time they forget the grocery list at home or make a mess in the bathroom? Discuss irritating habits with your partner in a calm and respectful manner and accept the idea that some of them won’t disappear.
You Can’t Change Someone’s Personality
The best example is the relationship between an extrovert and an introvert. Extroverts feel better in other people’s company, while introverts need to be alone in order to relax and recharge their batteries. If you start a relationship with someone having an opposite temperament, make sure you can cope with it later and accept their need for social interaction or solitude.
Pick The Right Partner In The First Place
Why do people who have had an unhappy childhood usually end up in unhappy relationships? Because they haven’t healed first and unconsciously look for a similar person they want to fix in order to make things right and get their own back. So, if you had a bad relationship with a parent, resolve your issue first with help from a therapist if necessary.