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How To Behave If Your Ex Doesn’t Visit The Kids

The divorce is a more complicated process than it seems. Signing on the dotted line may be the easy part, while the hard part is what follows. The process of getting used to idea your marriage is over and you have to start over can be very scary for you, but for your children this could be even scarier.

The separation is never easy but somehow you have to try and keep a good relationship with your ex for the sake of your children. Sometimes this turns out to be extremely hard, especially when you are doing everything you can while he or she is not doing anything. What can you do, however, when your little one is expecting to see his/her mother or father but something always seems to come up?

Ex doesn't visit the kids - A Real ParentHandling the cleaning of the house, the cooking, your regular job and the cares for your kid is a tough task. Unfortunately, that is not the hardest thing you’ll have to face after the divorce. It is easy to get angry and blame your ex for all of your problems but that is not important at all when it comes to the well-being of your child. Ex doesn't visit the kids - Case of the Absent Parent

Both of you need to try to maintain a normal relationship, if not as friends, at least as people who respect each other. When your ex doesn’t want to visit your little one, however, it is very easy to get angry but you have to try and stay calm. Fighting will only make things worse and probably push your ex even further. If you wonder how to behave in situation like this, here are several tips.

  • Don’t Fight With Your Ex With Your Child In The Room – Fighting is never good but when your kid is becoming an unwilling witness of your scandals, this is a very serious problem. You have all the reasons to be angry with your ex for neglecting his/her obligations towards your child. However, you have to try to resist the fighting in public for your own sake and for the sake of your little one who can become really traumatize by the experience.
  • Don’t Blame Your Ex For Your Problems In Front Your Kid – Blaming your ex husband or wife for everything that went wrong with your marriage is not fair, especially when you do this in front of your kid. Don’t forget that your little girl or boy is very impressionable right now and all things that you say could leave a permanent mark. Try to always think carefully about the things that you say in front of your kid to avoid any future problems.
  • Don’t Ask Your Little One To Choose Sides – Forcing your kid to pick a side is very traumatizing, and not to mention that it will lead to more troubles with your ex for sure. Instead of speaking badly about your ex, you can try and explain to your child why he or she is not visiting. Your kid certainly feels very confused right now and a little help from you will be the best solution to the problem. Later, you can discuss everything with your ex in private.
  • Give Your Ex A Chance To Explain – You might think that your ex is the bad one but there’s always a reason for everything. Your ex husband or wife might need time just like you to figure out a way to start his/her life over. There are various options, so before you make any conclusions, it is best to talk with your ex in person and find out what is the reason for his/her absence.

About the author

About the author

Fiona Grayson is a single mom who was through some tough moments after the divorce. Now she already has a good job at NW1 DomesticCleanLondon and her life is getting slowly back in line. Fiona has previously written Changes At Home That Will Improve Your Kids Grades and From Picky Eater To Healthy Gourmet.


Is your ex vindictive?  Read this article to get tips on how to respond to an vindictive ex.

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