After going through a divorce, it can be difficult to regain your life and start a new chapter on your own. Many people need to go through a process of healing and reflection to move on from the pain of the marriage. The healing process can sometimes take years to complete.
It is possible to start fresh as you enter a new chapter of your life after marriage while you recover from the pain. To make sure you’re able to start a new life and find new purpose, there are a few steps to take for a healthy beginning.
Spend Time with Friends
No matter how good or bad your marriage was, you are likely used to having a companion as opposed to living on your own. Stay busy and avoid isolating yourself, which will prevent you getting into a rut while working through the pain.
Talk to other divorcees who can relate to what you’re going through and can offer sound advice. If you and your spouse have a lot of mutual friends it can be hard to find a good support system, but with a few good friends at your side, you’ll be ready to start the next chapter of your life.
Discover Your Passions
In marriage, it can be easy to lose who you are and forget what you like when sharing your life with another person. Being in a relationship and raising children can keep you from pursuing your passions, and leaves little time for your own personal hobbies.
Try new hobbies, join a new group, and try to stay active to develop an enriching lifestyle for yourself.
This is a rare opportunity for you to focus on yourself and rediscover your personality. Remember the things that you love, and you will soon find happiness pursuing passions that may have been neglected in the past.
Enroll in Counseling
The pain from divorce can linger for several years if it’s not properly dealt with. While you might have tried marriage counseling in the past to help your relationship, it can still be a good idea to visit a counselor.
Whether you talk about your marriage, the pain of the divorce, or your hopes and goals for the future, having a qualified professional to give you advice and encouragement will help you as you begin the next chapter of your life. Many divorcees can feel lost and start drifting after the divorce is final.
It can be easy to push your feelings away and neglect your emotions after divorce, but doing so will prevent healing from the situation. Take time to reflect by journaling, talking to friends and mourning the loss of the marriage.
Some are unable to deal with the pain while the divorce while it is still fresh, so even if you don’t think back on your marriage, be sure to reflect on your life and the direction it is going. Think about the person you were before you got married, and the kind of person you wanted to be.
Now is your chance to explore who you are and reflect on the past as well as plan for the future. You don’t have to dwell on the end of the marriage, but be sure to reflect on the course your life is taking in general.
Create New Goals
To make sure you remain hopeful and positive about the future, create new goals that will provide you with independence and excitement. Consider starting a new career, furthering your education or planning a trip to another country.
Setting personal goals will help you focus on what the future has to offer instead of getting stuck in the memories of the past. Your goals can be large, like finishing your college degree, or they can be on a smaller scale, such as to start a neighborhood book club.
After years of being married it might feel selfish to focus so much on yourself, however, this is the perfect time to work on yourself and pursue your dreams. Whether your goals are massive or small, they will help you take control of your life and make the next chapter one of achievement and happiness.
Starting a new chapter in your life after divorce is much easier said than done. When you’ve been married for a great portion of your life, divorce presents a huge change for every aspect of your life —
how you spend your time,
who you see every day,
where you live,
and the plans you have for the future.
While it can be devastating to have the rug pulled out from under you, this is also a rare opportunity where you can start over in life and focus on your wants and needs. Take advantage of this time, and welcome a new, exciting chapter of your life.
The information for this article was provided by divorce attorneys in Anchorage, Alaska at the firm of Kalamarides & Lambert.