For a lot of people, their love life seems like the most important thing in their lives. Why? Because it can lead to fulfillment in many aspects of their life overall.
A great love life can result in wonderful date nights, a lifetime partner, someone to talk to, marriage, children, grandchildren, puppies and the list goes on.
But many people have been lately noticing their love lives are inexplicably falling apart. “It just didn’t work out,” “We weren’t ready to commit,” “We need time to find ourselves,” these are all common statements to explain why certain relationships don’t work out. And in some cases, these statements may be true.
But what is the real reason people are struggling so much with their love lives? What factors are going unnoticed while they ruin relationships single-handedly?
These are the questions haunting us.
But don’t worry! Not only are the answers closer than you think, they are easy to fix problems. The crazy thing is most people just don’t realize these simple changes could save their relationships. Give these ten things some consideration and give the suggestions a try. You’ll be surprised how much your love life will benefit from it.
1. Cell Phones
It’s a well known fact the current generation spends far too much time on their phones. The problem is so bad people actually spend more time on their phones than they do getting to know new people.
If you’re always on your cell phone when you’re on a date or hanging out with your significant other, not only are you losing the chance to spend time with and get to know the other person, but you’re giving off signs you’re closed off and you don’t want to be social.
These things are detrimental to all relationships, but they are especially hurtful to potential or budding relationships. It’s these times when you’re supposed to be enthusiastic about getting to know the other person.
Even in more mature relationships, cell phone use is a big problem. Too much time spent on the cell phone causes the other person to feel a lack of interest and intimacy.
2. The Past
Everyone has a past and everyone has experienced something or someone who has hurt them. It’s okay to lean on your significant other and talk to them about the past if you’re still hurt over it.
But it becomes dangerous to your relationship when you’re so caught up in how hurt you are, you can’t move forward and be happy; especially if the hurt you’re dealing with is over a past relationship.
It’s understandable to still feel pain and have reservations, but if those things are not dealt with before another relationship begins, they could ruin or seriously damage new relationships.
3. Lack of Communication
Many people struggle with being in a relationship because they don’t want to have the responsibility of “reporting back” to someone every so often.
This struggle opens up the door for communication problems, one of the most prevalent killers of relationships. A couple needs not only to be able to converse normally and enjoy each other, but also to be able to say when they’re feeling a certain way. They need to be able to work things out without everything dissolving into a huge fight.
Communication is one of the most important parts of a relationship. If you can’t communicate with your partner, your relationship will fall apart in no time.
4. Health Problems
I’m not saying it’s your fault if you have health problems or that people should break up with you for it.
What we are saying is many people struggle with being in a relationship with someone who has serious health problems because they don’t want to be someone’s caretaker or because they don’t want to get close to someone if they could lose them.
The solution to this is NOT to date people with health problems, but it is a consideration people need to understand. Having a partner with health problems is taxing in many ways, emotionally, monetarily and physically.
It’s not easy to be with someone and go through that roller coaster with them all the time, but if you are fully aware of the relationship you are getting into and truly love and care for the other person, it can be just as if not more rewarding than other relationships.
5. Lack of Trust
Perhaps the most important thing between two people is trust. And nowadays, there are two problems. The first being that people don’t trust their significant others, and the second, people are not giving their significant others reason to trust them.
If you can’t trust your partner when he goes out to the bar or to dinner with his friends, there’s a problem. If you need to constantly know what your significant other is doing, whom he or she is with, and when he or she will be home, you have a lack of trust.
Although it may seem like a lack of trust will just flare up sometimes and then go away on its own, it won’t. If there is a lack of trust between you and your partner, it’s a serious problem, and you need to talk it out and decide whether it’s time to fix it or step back from each other.
6. Money Problems
Money problems are big problems in today’s world of dating. A partner is judged on many things, and one of them is whether or not they have enough money.
If one partner feels that the other is not monetarily stable enough, that may cause the relationship to end or be hurt. But another money problem is that early in a relationship, one or both of the partners feels the need to impress the other or shower them with gifts and tokens of their affection.
It’s nice to be spoiled, but many people are falling into money problems because they’re trying too hard to impress their partner, thus causing them to put stress on the relationship. It’s much better for your bank account and for your relationship if you focus on impressing your partner with your character and abilities, not with your money.
7. Lack of Compassion and Understanding
Many people lack the ability to put themselves in their partners’ shoes. This lack of compassion and understanding is the downfall of many relationships.
A vital part of relationships is the ability to talk about problems together and deal with them as a team. If you can’t be compassionate and at least try to understand the way your partner is feeling, your partner will end up feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and alone, forcing him or her to look for comfort elsewhere.
8. No “Me” Time
A very common problem with couples is they don’t take enough time to be themselves without their partners.
Being in a relationship is great, it’s a team and a fun partnership, but it’s important each person in the relationship remembers they need to find time to be themselves as well.
If a couple spends too much time together without enough individual time, each person loses their sense of self, and the relationship falls apart.
9. Image Problems
A common complaint from people in relationships is they feel like they aren’t attractive or sexy to their partners anymore.
This is understandable as the relationship matures and the couple becomes more comfortable around each other, but part of it might also be attributed to laziness.
It’s important each person regularly exercises because exercising boosts your confidence and helps you feel attractive and fit. It’s exhausting to try and look good for someone else if you don’t even think you look good. Before you try to please anyone else with your appearance, make sure you’re happy with it!
10. The “Nothing” Fight
The “Nothing Fight” is the term used for the many fights couples may have that are usually started over something silly, and get blown out of proportion because of pent up anger and hostility the couple has against each other.
The way to avoid this is to be open and understanding when there are problems in your relationship, and to talk about things that bother you when they bother you instead of keeping all your anger and frustration inside and holding a grudge.
So there you have it! The 10 biggest problems eating away at your love life. They may not go away overnight, but acknowledging them with your partner and working on them little by little with lead you to a happier and healthier relationship.
This article was written by Kate Stefanski. Kate is an expert on all things relationships – from the good to the bad. On countless occasions she watches friends and family make simple mistakes over and over slows kills their love life. Luckily, she shares her expertise through writing to ensure others can learn to avoid these downfalls. In addition to her love and dating column, she also contributes content on the latest in testosterone studies to RejuveHealthClinics.com. To learn more about Kate, be sure to check out her Google+.