Humor

Stepfather’s Humor ~ Fun Facts

Did you know a hard-working adult sweats up to 4 gallons per day?  Most of the sweat evaporates before a person realizes it’s there.  Someone should have told that to my 10th-grade biology teacher, Mr. Taffet.

Stepfather's humor - Sweaty Arm Pits
Mr. Taffet

I hope you enjoy our stepfather’s humor and other fun facts.  I’ve added my “analysis” in blue.

In the 1400s, a law was set forth that a man was not allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb.  Hence we have “the rule of thumb.” I like sleeping indoors so I’m not going to even touch this one.

Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled “Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden”  and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language. This is just an urban legend. The word originated from the Dutch and old Scots. The medieval Dutch word for “club” was “kolfe” or “kolve.” Then it’s assumed the old Scots’ dialect picked it up and it became “golve”, “gowl” or “gouf.”

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than for the US Treasury.  The way the Fed’s been printing money I’d like to think the reverse is now true.  🙂

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.  I know there’s something funny here I just couldn’t think of anything.

Coca-Cola was originally green. Irish version.

It is impossible to lick your elbow. I know some cannibals that would challenge that.

The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work:  Alaska; also the highest percentage of runners – people chased by polar bears 😛

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this…)

The percentage of North America that is wilderness: is 38%; including Houston and Detroit.

The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: is $6,400

The average number of people airborne over the US at any given hour: is 61,000; excludes drug users.

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair. Also, dandruff because they tend not to take care of themselves.

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.  They forgot the Wienermobile.

Wienermobile
Oscar Meyer Wienermobile

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:

> >     Spades – King David

> >     Hearts – Charlemagne

> >     Clubs – Alexander the Great

> >     Diamonds – Julius Caesar; I thought it was Burger King!

Burger King
The Burger King

Originally, the differentiation between women at different ages was done in the English language with the help of the terms maiden, mother, and crone. The maiden was a young girl which wasn’t married yet. The mother was the female in the years when she could bear children. The crone was the woman in the post-menopause period. So the expression old crone is redundant.

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. Again, if the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. But if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes. If you’re next to a dog and it’s raised a hind leg it’s time to wake up!

Stepfather's humor - Dog taking a piss

Only two people signed the Declaration of  Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson.  Most of the rest were signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn’t added until 5 years later.  After they returned from summer recess.

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