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Crazy Things Stepdads Text

I don’t know about you but I absolutely despise texting.  I rarely initiate texts unless it’s an emergency and I only respond to those texts that I absolutely have to – although the Pretty Lady may beg to differ. 

Really Big Fingers

You see I’m appendage impaired, i.e, really big fingers, when I press the keyboard I usually end up hitting the wrong key – intending to spell one thing but spelling something else.  Thankfully though I am not alone as my friend Matt can attest to…

Matt’s Typo

You on the other hand may think you’re really cool texting away with your slender fingers at will to your kids – feeling like you really got it goin’ on.  Sure your staying connected to your kids but more than likely they’re LOL at your texts because their so crazy.  In fact, so many parents text so many crazy things to their children an entire website was started — Crazy Things Parents Text.  There your children have submitted texts that will make strangers laugh, and probably make you cry when you recall some of your not ready for primetime texts. The site has become so popular, there’s now an app for it (natch) and even a recently published book compiling the most popular texts.  Here’s a few of them:

 

Surgically Removed  Me: Did Mom have a c-section with me? 
   Dad: Yep. That’s right.  You weren’t born, you were surgically removed like… a tumor.
   
Doctor Says Me: What did the doctor say? 
  Dad: Not supposed to lift anything heavy so I have to start sitting down when I pee.
   
 Touche  Dad: You’re 16, sex doesn’t exist for you.  It’s not real, like the Easter Bunny.   
   Me: And You are married, it doesn’t existing for you either.  Ha.
   Dad: Touche Son. Touche
   
 Boring Kid  Dad: You’re such a boring kid.
   Me:  Excuse me?
   Dad:  You’ve never done drugs, drank, experimented with other girls…if we went to high school together, I’d definitely make fun of you.
   
 Sleepovers  Me:  I can’t see why I can’t have innocent sleepovers with boys.
   Dad:  I don’t want you having sex with boys!
   Me:  But I can have sleepovers with girls…is sex with girls OK?
   Dad:  Only if you videotape and I get a share of the profits.
   
Order Gerardo: You can order the book by clicking here and in case you’re wondering you can only find the funniest and craziest submissions in the book not on the website.

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