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A Good Stepfather – Two Ways to Be One: #1 & #2

The following are the first in a series of tips to be a good stepfather

#1 – Respect the Biological Father.  Remember the adage if you have nothing good to say then say nothing at all.  When it comes to your child’s biological father you will serve all concerned by adhering to it.  Keep negative opinions to yourself unless you are asked directly.  Even if you are asked suggest you be careful about what you say – remember when you point the finger at someone four fingers are pointing back at you. 

#2Be Yourself. Why try to be someone you’re not?  Life is hard enough without adding impersonation to the skills required ~ Robert Brault.

It is almost impossible to set up pretense of doing, being, enjoying or acting in ways that are not YOU.  You may impress your step child for a while but the real you will emerge sooner or later.  Step children are quick to pickup on anything that looks or smells phony. 

Check out the several books available on Stepfathering in Book Reviews.  My favorite is The Smart Stepdad by Ron Deal.  Ron offers advice for men navigating the stepfamily minefield, including how to connect with stepchildren, being a godly role model, how to discipline, dealing with the biological dad and keeping the bond strong with one’s new spouse.  He gives perspective on what the kids are going through and why things don’t work the same as in a biological family.  The Smart Stepdad provides essential guidelines to help stepfathers not only survive but succeed as both dad and husband.

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