Stepdads ask, “What’s Wrong About “Why”?”

Posted by Gerardo Campbell on Jan 17, 2012 in Featured, Stepparenting | 0 comments

Kids Asking Why: Stop the Disrepect Now

I recently read an Ezine article titled, “Kids Asking Why: Stop the Disrespect Now.” I wanted to share parts of the article with you, share my thoughts and get your thoughts as well. The author, Bruce Kalix, leads with the following:

Kids asking why is often an extremely big problem for many guardians and school teachers. Numerous times the kid is often given the understanding that they’re equal together with the mature person on some level and that they already have the right as an equal to debate motives, thinking, and authority.

This sort of action cannot only be annoying to cope with but may also be unsafe for the safety for the kid. At this point we are planning to offer you solid information to help you realize and solve the issue of kids asking why.

Why Asking Why is Wrong

The author’s website, The Teaching Spot, provides a complete lesson plan on why kids shouldn’t be asking why. Here are his points in blue and my response below in black.

They’re too young to understand. Generally speaking, kids won’t understand the explanation fully even into teenage years.

This is an arbitrary generalization that’s unfair to lump all young people into.
It’s an adult’s responsibility to communicate to the child at an age appropriate level to ensure their understanding.
These type of conversations stimulate critical thinking and reasoning in our children – this is a good thing.

They won’t agree. The only reason you would explain your ‘why’ is to try to convince them that you are right in your response or even worse that you have the authority to give the command or request.

Another arbitrary generalization. I feel it’s okay for kids to disagree provided it’s done respectfully and the child understands after listening, the adult makes the final decision.
Additionally, to explain why gives me an opportunity to validate my rational – I don’t feel I have to be right all the time.
The times I’ve changed my mind after listening to my son’s point of view bulids his self-esteem, confidence and teaches him skills like negotiation and compromise.

Skills he will need outside our home and when he’s launched into adulthood.
These are skills I would hope my son employs with his own children.

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